Not Good For Me


Grand Theft Auto V is going back to Cali….er, “San Andreas”. I can’t believe it’s been over 3 years since Rockstar Games blanketed us with Grand Theft Auto IV promotion….and if you remember, since that game was set in an almost-real New York City (aka Liberty City), we got everything from customized Mr. Cee radio stations, to exclusive Busta Rhymes x Green Lantern tracks, to inter-borough multi-ethnic crime sprees. Good times.

This morning, Rockstar dropped the trailer for GTA V, confirming that the endless driving missions and salty dialogue is going back to Los Angeles, California (aka Los Santos, San Andreas). In the brief clip, you see the LA smog, the skid-row homeless, some warm fuzzy crop-dusting over migrant workers, the Venice boardwalk, and, of course, some celeb-hiking up in Runyon Canyon. (But what’s with the oil rig? Is there black gold hidden in the Hollywood Hills? UPDATE: Holy crap! Thanks Jazzbeezy.) Oh and if you don’t already know from in GTA, the Hollywood sign says Vinewood, which sounds decidedly less glamorous)

I definitely enjoyed the insanely detailed gameplay in GTA IV, but something about driving and mission-based videogames gets tedious to me. I can’t wait to see all the extra music, video, and web content that is sure to come with this new edition though. That’s definitely where Rockstar shines.

Do you think they’ll have Pac Div, Lil B’ radio stations? I predict lots of paparazzi chase scenes, and a full TMZ-branded news ticker.

A short recap of the Grand Theft Auto series..
After the jump
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Camron "what kind of ass is that"
(Cam’ron and his pal, the human trapper keeper: Warning, that jar of Hellman’s is about to go where no condiment should ever ever go.)

Perhaps you thought Cam’ron could never match the antics in the MissInfo.TV Cam’ron NSFW Sizzle Reel. You remember, Cam’ron and ladyfriends in the parking lot, Cam’ron and ladyfriends scat-playing in Macy’s? The stuff of legends.
Well, you were wrong, my friends.
So. So. Sosososo wrong.

In this video, Cam’ron and his homie Murph find themselves socializing with more uninhibited ladies in a Walgreen’s pharmacy. Wait…what?
The star of the show is a woman who eagerly demonstrates the tensile strength of her buttcheeks.
She grips a mayo jar, a DVD, a Vitamin Water….She bends over. She bounces.
She runs down the store aisle….all the while, clenching the bottle in her buttcheeks.

But what about the customers and the cashier?!? Ohh, the humanity!

I can’t make this up. But I am also not sure if I imagined this. (Did I eat the salmon mousse?)

The best/worst thing you’ll watch this year…
Cam’ron Asks “What Type Of Ass Is That?”
After the jump

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Screen shot 2011-03-09 at 12.44.20 AM
14 years laterno justice, no peace.

UPDATE:
Maino rhymes about Biggie on “March 9th”
DJ Clark Kent talks to LifeFiles about his friendship with Biggie
Big’s former manager Wayne Barrow shares his memories,
Biggie’s 1997 Source Magazine interview with Chairman Mao,

and footage of the alpha and omega of one of the greatest of all time…

all after the jump
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(Vybz Kartel before….and after, terrifying face-eating soap encounter)

This is totally random but I had to discuss this on “Celebrity Drama” tonite, and share the visual on the blog. Vybz Kartel….wha’happend? and whycome? Just as I was confusicated by Sammy Sosa’ highly un-Porcelana skin transformation, I’m equally as baffled by dancehall star Vybz Kartel’s need to look like he’s working at a haunted house, all year round. Add to the skin bleaching, some jailhouse tattoos…and the whole thing is crazyface.

While Sammy just copped some plea about how he suffered the skintone change after a “cleansing” treatment gone wrong….Vybz Kartel is way more bully about the whole thing. He says, “This is my new image…You can expect the unexpected. I feel comfortable with black people lightening their skin. They want a different look. It’s tantamount to white people getting a sun tan.”

Um, is it really “tantamount”, Vybz? Or is it….crazyface.
Since Vybz also launched his own brand of soap which he credits with this reverse-suntan…I’m leaning towards the latter.

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(previously: What’s Eating Sammy Sosa?)

huddycandles
(Candles and memorabilia arranged in the shape of “6” in honor of Andre Hudson aka Huddy Combs aka Huddy 6….over on Lenox and 143rd street in Harlem)

Thank you to Huddy’s friends for sending over the details of Hud’s funeral on Monday. And again, continued condolences to his loved ones.

If you’d like to pay your respects….the details, as well as two video tributes, are posted after the jump….
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On Tuesday night, Cam’ron and Huddy Combs (Andre Hudson) were at Perfections with DJ Camilo (who took this twitpic with his phone). Just a few hours later, Huddy was driving home, crossing the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey, when his car collided with a truck, killing him and injuring a female relative in the car (via Daily News, MTVNews, Associated Press).

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All day I’ve had a heavy heart. It’s hard to quantify Huddy‘s contribution to the Harlem social scene, to the music game, and to the Diplomats team, but there’s no way to underestimate it either. He was the glue that held so much together.

I remember the days when Killa Cam first signed to Untertainment, Murda Mase was the future of Bad Boy, there was talk of a new Harlem renaissance, and Huddy was right in the middle of it. He was with Cam every day at the Hit Factory, he was on the road with Mase, he was even in Mase’s shortlived offshoot group Harlem World (with Loon, Meeno, Stace, and Suga J). There wasn’t enough Huddy to go around. Everyone that met him, loved him. He elevated the mood in every room, and was able to relate to anyone….

(read the rest after the jump) (Updated)
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A movie project starring Eric from True Blood (Alexander Skarsgard)! *nom nom*…AND that sulky hunky football washup Tim Riggins from my favorite melodrama Friday Night Lights (Taylor Kitsch)?! *nom nom nom!*
Also….lovely fashionista singer Rihanna will make her acting debut on the film too. Ok. Feeling a lil’ trepidation…but still excited.
But wait, the movie is called Battleship? Please not a dumbed down version of Battlestar Gallactica! No? Phew…..um, it’s actually a movie based on the old Hasbro boardgame, Battleship.

Ugh.

There’s some hope because Peter Berg is directing. He’s that actor who was awesome in The Last Seduction, and since then has done a great job directing/producing Friday Night Lights, and a not so great job directing Hancock. (blech) But also interesting….it seems he’s also working on a “Cocaine Cowboys” feature film. Hmm.

Best Tweet Reply Today:
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(*iQuit imminent)

zzzzzzzzz….i’m sorry, I dozed off somewhere between the book promo and the railing against the very bloggers who have made her a household name…ahem.

I was amused Kat’s masterful name mash-up….”Rocska Ackcrosta.”

Rocska Ackcrosta is Kat’s imaginary Hindu vee-jaying video-modeling deity who does deep hamstring stretches in front of a live studio audience.

But aside from that, who knew phonebook dictation could be so dull.

Are you not entertained? Increasingly less so….

After the jump, watch the video that made Kat so hoppin’ mad. And listen to Kat’s interview with the homie Angela Yee….

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kielyPicture 17
(Left: giddy Kiely in younger days. Right: post-Cheetah Kiely..um…out with beau/producer JR Rotem. Must have been casual-boob Friday.)

So alot of fuss is being made over young Kiely Williams (for example:here and herethis video should come with a rape kit)…..so, congratulations on that. Clearly, this is exactly what Kiely aimed for when she recorded a song and video for this song, “Spectacular”….the former 3Lw member and Disney’s Cheetah Girls sings about getting so pissy that you black out and perhaps have raw relations with a guy who is one twitpic away from a date-rape charge….

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular

I think he pulled a track out when he was blowing my back out
What was I drinking? I can’t believe I blacked out…
I must have been on drugs…
I hope he used a rubber or
Imma be in trouble
Promise I don’t remember
except for rolling over

*shudders*

Well, that’s one way to get some youtube views and a Monique show walk-on….I guess.

Watch the Not-Safe-For-Work (or kids!) video for “Spectacular”….and read Kiely’s “statement” after the jump….

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Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Mikey: Earlier this morning President Obama addressed the disaster and tragic events that took place in Haiti last night. He spoke sincerely and made it clear that the U.S. government is doing everything in it’s power to help the people of Haiti as well Haitian-Americans living stateside. Also he urged anyone seeking help locating family or friends in Haiti to contact the states department at 888 – 407-4747 for further assistance. Some key points from his speech were…

1. The U.S. has mobilized resources to help rescue efforts

2. Search and Rescue  teams from the U.S.  are arriving today and tomorrow, U.S. Agency for International Development administrator Rajiv Shah to coordinate American efforts

3.U.S. is working in an interagency effort with the Haitian  government to bring an all out relief effort to the country

Wyclef also spoke with CNN on the tragedy in his homeland and is also doing everything in his power to help bring aid to Haiti. You can donate and learn more about Wyclef’s organization at www.Yele.org or text “yele” to 501 501 to make a five dollar donation. Video after the jump

More information on how to help Haiti at Hot 97’s Help Page.

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