(The Hunger Games: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Lenny Kravitz looking like they got dressed in a goth sex shop.)

Huzzah! If you only care about the latest “Stay Scheming” freestyle, just keep scrolling to the next post…because this one is personal!
You already know I’m a huge nerdy retainer-wearing buffpuff-exfoliating comp-notebook-doodling security-blanket-carrying superfan of The Hunger Games book series. Basically, it’s about a future world where the country’s evil dictatorship forces kids from poor areas into a yearly deathmatch to earn food. If you ever saw the very twisted Japanese movie Battle Royale, it’s somewhat similar…but with more sci-fi and, aww, triangle teen romance!

I’ve been closely tracking the progress of the first movie in the trilogy for months. But with some skepticism. (Why is the “girl on fire” dress so lame? Why does those horrible fighting uniforms look like outlet UnderArmour? Why does the set look like a bad WB pilot? Why the hell is Lenny Kravitz in this? And most of all, for the love of Team Jacob, don’t you guys see how much money Twilight made? Put a little effort into this thing!)

But with the movie release on March 23rd, there’s a new trailer I can sink my teeth into! (and pick apart like a dingo on a rotting carcass)

Watch Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone), Josh Hutcherson (The Kids Are Alright), Liam Hemsworth (um, Thor’s little brother and Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend)….
In The Hunger Games trailer…
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(You may be wondering why the Brooklyn Bridge is covered in denim… the answer lies at egotripland.com)

Jay-Z already heralded the birth of his “smarter faster me” Blue Ivy Carter with the song “Glory”….but as the celebratory news of Hov and Beyonce’s new baby daughter broke over the past two days, so too has the ridiculous speculation of events surrounding it. Not the least of which was the rumor (perpetuated by lines from a new song, “Glory”) that Jay-Z had arranged for the Empire State Building to be lit blue in honor of Blue Ivy Carter’s birth. Turns out the NYC landmark’s hue was actually due to the NY Giants’ playoff game on Sunday. Oh well, we can pretend. In fact, there’s gotta be all kinds of ways we could imagine Jay-Z pulling some strings to publicly celebrate this monumental event with the rest of the world. Here – with the help of our friends at EgotripLand – are a few. Yeah, we can just see it now… Together we came up with 10 other ways Jay-Z could celebrate daughter Blue Ivy’s B-Day.

1. Rent fleet of prop planes to crop dust Tri-state with atomized Blue Nile. Muslim oil merchants rejoice

2. Remove term “poison ivy” from all medical journals and English dictionaries in Western Hemisphere.

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Hallelujah! We’ve had a bounty of quality rap today, and now this…the molten chocolate cake to send you off on your weekend of debauchery….
A new teaser for Season 3 of HBO’s comedy series, Eastbound and Down, starring the always inappropriate but white hot Kenny Powers! Last season was a bit of a mess, what with the Mexico plotline and that annoying short guy…but I have faith in KP! (Remember the Eastbound and Down bloopers? One of the greatest blooper reels of all time!)
Eastbound and Down, Season 3 kicks off on February 19, 2012.

(Ever noticed that socially-inept, awkward, blatantly rude white men are the king of situational comedy? Larry David, Louis CK, Kenny Powers…everyone on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Painfully funny.)

Speaking of HBO…are you guys watching their latest comedy, Angry Boys?
Watch a clip, after the jump…
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Happy Holidays, everyone! Hee Hee! I complain about the internets and how it’s taken over our lives, but sometimes all that immediacy and proximity makes for HILARITY.
Like the viral video of that crazy wacky guy rapping at the top of his lungs to Kanye West and Jay-Z’s “N—as in Paris” on a crowded New York City subway car….
Not only did we all get to see it thanks to youtube, but Kanye even cosigned the clip by tweeting it!

But who was that mystery fan, in his purple jacket and matching purple bag, going H.A.M. on the train?

We found him! Meet our new pal Terrane Hicks!

MissInfo: So what about “N—as in Paris” got you so…so…excited on the subway?
Terrane: EVERYTHING!!!!!

MissInfo: Um, no offense, but were you drunk or high?
Terrane: No, actually I was totally sober. I am like this all the time. I’m just a hype person.

My full chat with Terrane, Mr. “N—as on the Subway”…
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(Idris Elba and Charlize Theron: Is this Idris’ biggest movie project yet? Or was Thor bigger? )

We already saw a background video about Ridley Scott’s much anticipated Prometheus sci-fi horror flick, but here’s the official first trailer…and while you don’t really get much plot, you get the strong feeling that you will be scared, you will feel doomed, and you will love this. But is all the hype about this being the backstory of Scott’s Alien movies true? Still unclear. I’m hyped to learn that this script was co-written by one of the LOST writers, Damon Lindelof. Until I remember how bitter I still am about the LOST finale…

Watch the Prometheus trailer…
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I wish I had a wall-sized computer screen on which to watch the glorious action of this Dark Knight Rises movie trailer…It’s gorgeous and grim, and loaded with all the classic cues of a Christopher Nolan flick. Collapsing skylines, swallowing crevices, candlelit Marion Cotillard, and lots and lots of staircases. But even if much of the cast in Batman Wears Prada While Bronson Blows Up His Dream State seems familiar, I can’t wait to see how the movie incorporates the ideas of Occupy Wall Street into the storyline of absolute power corruption….Oh hay, 1%.

“There’s a storm coming Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches. Because when it hits you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us…” -Catwoman

Oh, who am I kidding, all I care about is BANE.

Now along with the Dark Knight Rises trailer, there were other solid teases to keep film fans salivating for 2012…

1) Prometheus trailer…of a trailer: What do we learn about Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel?
2) Wrath of the Titans trailer: More Perseus, more sandals, and super gnarly looking Titans!
3) The Dictator: Sasha Baron Cohen’s new spoof looks amazing….ly offensive!

Watch all three after the jump…
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Awesome Plug Research duo Quadron released a gorgeous soul album earlier this year. They’ve done a string of shows opening for Raphael Saadiq, and releasing some great Remix EP/Maxi-Single (remember those?) projects as well. Here, Coco covers Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” with awesome results.

Damn, I miss Lauryn Hill.

After the jump to check their cover of Michael Jackson’s “Baby Be Mine”

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This is absolutely the best Friday gift for me…..This sneak peek at 30 Rock’s new season is amazing!
How could it not be?
Liz Lemon has a new boy toy! James Marsden (from XMen)….more Kim Jong Il plotline….the addition of Kristen Schall (who also voices the best gangster baby girl on TV…I’m talkin’ bout Bob’s Burgers‘ LOUISE)….and more Devon Banks (Will Arnett).

So good.

If you never saw this clip from Bob’s Burgers….do it.
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This woman took that Drake and Rick Ross “Free Spirit” song….way way too seriously.

Holy crap. I’m speechless. I guess I had somehow convinced myself that last week’s viral photo of a young women with her eyebrows shaved off and a huge tattoo on her forehead that read “DRAKE” was just a horrible figment of my imagination. Or some cruel photoshop joke played by rival highschool cholas on facebook.

But NO! It’s so real. And thank you, Vice. And thank you Vice writer Kara-Lis Coverdale for christiane-amanpouring this so that we could know what really happened at LA’s Will Rise tattoo shop….when this chick walked in with a mission.

Kevin Campbell tells Vice:

“She was really psyched about it. She had the shitty font all picked out on her iPhone ready to go and was pretty adamant about putting it on her forehead…When I printed up the first image of the lettering, she wanted me to go bigger…“

“My whole deal with people wanting completely outrageous and potentially life-ruining tattoos is this: I’ll ask them three times if they really think it’s a good idea, I tell them what the potential consequences of getting a tattoo on their face might be, and after that, the bad decision is on them. I believe that people get the tattoos that they deserve…
I guess I feel bad that this dumbass got the name of the softest motherfucker in hip-hop tattooed on her forehead. But what makes that any less valid of a tattoo to her?… I lost a little sleep over it that first night, wondering if I wanted to be known as the asshole who tattooed “DRAKE” on some crackhead’s forehead.“

(You can’t see me but I’m hyperventilating at this whole interview.)
More photos of this woman’s epic fail of all fails…
And more of Vice x Kevin Campbell’s awful/awesome commentary…
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You know when something or someone is bad for you…High-fructose corn syrup. Bleached flour. RUSH pre-paid credit cards. Mixed beverages sold out of car trunks at Summer Jam. Women with neck tattoos and Worldstar dance moves. Guys in shiny moncler jackets who pull up next to you at the light and slowly lower their limo tint…

But how often do we ignore our better judgement and indulge? Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants…..

So perhaps the combination of Gucci Mane and V-Nasty (Kreayshawn’s less mainstreamed doppelganger and famous word-equality warrior) should raise a red flag….but instead, this song “Loaded” is today’s musical 5-Hour-Energy shot. Now, in a few years we’ll figure out that those 5-Hour things cause bone rot. And maybe the same goes for the upcoming Gucci x V-Nasty BAYTL mixtape*. But we live in the now. F&%k school.

New Music: Gucci Mane x V-Nasty feat. Mistah Fab “Loaded” (Prod. by Zaytoven)

This song is better than the other mixtape cuts that have leaked so far. You think?

*but what the hell does that title mean? Beatle? Battle? Bay-tell? Bad acronym?!* (Update: oh. eh.)

Watch Gucci and Mlle. Nasty in the studio…
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