Help….me….can’t breathe….look at their dirty faces!
And Baby Situation!

Thank you to Babelgum via NYMag’s Vulture Blog.

UPDATE: Coincidentally, my homie DJ Teddy King from KingStampede/BoundlessNY sent over his and DJ Mondee’s latest mixtape (I really enjoyed Teddy’s previous rare Nas compilation):

New Mixtape: Boundless NY Presents – New Jersey State of Mind – DJ Teddy King & Mondee (“You Can Find Us In Brooklyn, But We’re New Jersey Residents!!”) (Download Link)

Full tracklisting after the jump…

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Have people cracked open that egg nog early? Because there’s no other explanation I can see (other than drunken lactose-intolerant raw-yolk fever) for folks to be cosigning such obvious bullshit this past weekend…

PART 1: Lil Wayne totes guns, and makes number weed runs….

Can you believe this Lil Wayne photo that TMZ posted? With the headline:

“Lil’ Wayne — Is That a Shotgun in Your Pocket?: Lil’ Wayne struck a deadly pose — brandishing what appears to be a high-powered shotgun on his tour bus over the summer.”

um…I’m no ballistics expert, but that looks more like a pneumatic nail gun than a shotgun.  Luckily, Young Money contacts like Karen Civil immediately stepped up to clarify, that’s a pellet gun in Wayne’s hand. Ah doy! Honestly, I’m shocked at TMZ, they’re thorough enough to scoop everyone on the death of Michael Jackson, but fell way short on this one.

PART 2: Asher Roth’s Ass-Gate 2009. The Battle for Asher’s Bung.

Ok, I keed, but honestly…folks were buzzing last night about this “scoop” that appeared on an mysterious, un-vetted site called CWebNews, about Asher Roth announcing he is “the” Gay Rapper. The headline was:

“Asher Roth to Appear on E!News to talk about new “Gay Lifestyle“

What about that ridiculous headline even sounds plausible?? Of course Asher could be gay, and there would be nothing wrong with that. But he’s not even the first that comes to my mind. (Do Asher’s flip flops raise your gaydar?)

Then in the “report,” there’s this convenient mention of a guy who wrote a book about all the gays in hip hop, without naming any names. Hmm. That makes me want to buy his book on Amazon, doesn’t it? ["Message!" (c) School Daze]

But the most damning blow to the credibility of this scoop: Who has ever gone on E! News to announce anything? (#noshots)

As much as this idiocracy made me angry…it was all worth it because this morning, we got a punchline from Ill Doctrine’s JSmooth:

When you click on the link, you see a new CWebNews’s headline:

“Jay Smooth Announces Plan to Sell Brooklyn Bridge:
Jay Smooth, host of the Oscar and Emmy-winning videoblog Illdoctrine.com, announced this week he is selling the historic Brooklyn Bridge. The stunning announcement was made during the E! News channel’s annual Kwanzaa special…”

GENIUS!!!

Evidently, anyone can submit any story to that site.

Read the rest of Jay’s Onion-like gem after the jump…

UPDATE: Asher Roth released this statement:
“I hate to disappoint and take away the entertainment of it all but I am straight, not gay. It’s disheartening to know such “news” on someone’s personal life can be portrayed as fact with no viable source. This, to me, is an opportunity to expose our vulnerability to lies and manipulation through unprofessional and irresponsible news outlets, in which people consider TRUTH. Further, someone’s sexual orientation should NEVER be big news, as it delivers a troubling message to children that they can’t be themselves without fear of judgment. Race, creed, and sexual persuasion should not just be tolerated but understood and accepted. It’s extremely disappointing that this topic would be used with the intention of being hurtful. We are near 2010….2010!! Yet race, sex and religion still play a major role in a hate driven society. For the love of the future and humanity….let’s wake up.” (via RapRadar)

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(photo spotted on Nah, song sent over by Shake/2DopeBoyz)

New Freestyle: Joell Ortiz “Make It Without You”

oh, wow…this just broke my heart.
completely.
and made me think about the people I love but don’t show enough love to. I want to but I’m use being busy as an excuse. (busy in this hamster wheel) Still, there’s always this fear that one day it will be too late.

thank you, joell for sharing. and bringing us back to something that matters.

*crying*

But I also cried buckets at this one line in a People.com story about the Tiger Woods mild-crash scene….

“According to [Kimberly Harris, Tiger's neighbor and first on the scene] who said she heard a loud “knocking sound” and saw tail lights that night, she and her brother found Woods, 33, shoeless and snoring in the passenger seat of his 2009 Cadillac Escalade.”

WHAT!? This is like a scene out of 30 Rock…the after after after after-party.

So one of my favorite blogger-created youtubes ever was a breakdown of the 2007 Beyonce Experience, which I was forced to endure on Thanksgiving night at a family feast. Back then, I said B was so incredibly beautiful and talented, but at the same time…completely absurd. Pure campy showbiz. Which is why the FourFour blog’s montage, “The 10 Most Ridiculous Things about the Beyonce Experience“  was so brilliant. (posted after the jump)

Fast forward to Thanksgiving night 2009, and I’m sitting on the same couch, with the same selection of yummy food, again watching Beyonce, but this time in an edgier ‘fit, and on a smaller stage for her I Am…Yours special. Still over the top, still surreal as ever. Thankfully, FourFour made another genius post and the video above, “The 13 Most Ridiculous Things about I Am…Yours.”

After the jump, check out original “10 Most Ridiculous Things” video…still my favorite : ) (spotted on FourFour via Crunktastical)
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Zach: “Does anyone ever tell you, you seem like the black Byron Allen?…”

I hadn’t watched any of Zach Galifianakis’s “Between Two Ferns” interview series on Funny or Die until I saw this clip today on EW’s PopWatch blog. How did I miss this all this time? I know how…because Zeus was waiting for this special day to rain absolute hilarity on my crappy mood. So  I’ve spent the past 30min. watching these clips, and now I’m fully ready to hit the streets again and be my normal moderate-to-very grouchy self! Sunshine!

But seriously, these are awesome. I posted a couple other favorites after the jump…including Zach with Natalie Portman, and Zach with Bradley Cooper (The Hangover), and Zach with John Hamm (”Mad Men”)
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Now this is amazing…well maybe it’d be less so if you weren’t an avid fan of The Wire, one of the most underappreciated unrewarded shows ever (along with Arrested Development, and maybe The Corner, and Deadwood….and Cheaters ; ). But as a fan, this totally makes me want to rewatch the series. Thanks to Illionaire/UHTN for sending over the link.

Note: I wish I had a combination Snoop x Buboy in my life.

Bonus: I noticed that the same youtube-er created a montages of great movie lines that weren’t included in the official AFI compilations….also endlessly entertaining. I might have picks different quotes, but still good stuff…after the jump…

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seriously…these women are taking the video medium to another level. The fellas? not so much.

Between this clip, and Alicia’s new one, and Rihanna’s Roulette, and that Gaga spectacle….wowza

strangé!

(but for the record, I’m not sure why Lady Gaga was even added on to this song. She doesnt have a real part, and she looks extremely out of place in the video with her artful kookiness in contrast to Beyonce’s pure sexual intensity.)

LOL! Jsmooth contends that for the Yankees and the Yankee fans…sore winning is a Empire State of Mind.

“Oh my god, Yes! I didn’t think this would happen for …another 2 or 3 years! Once again the Yankee boot crushes your face into the dirt. How does it taste this time? Is it like the other 26 times this happened?…..are you crying? Why are you crying?”

(McCain fans) “Yes WE Can! We Always do!”

(PS: I know alot of people feel the Yankees buy their way to wins, but I don’t think we can take away from their hard work too. Working hard in a mink suit, is still working ; )

(spotted on Mr. X’s XclusivesZone)

UPDATE: here’s more footage from last night’s epic Red Bull Big Tune Battle of the Beats event at Opera in Atlanta. Jadakiss performed, and aspiring producers battled for the chance to collaborate with a major artist (last year’s winner, C-Sick, got his track laced by Nas)….then Alchemist and Just Blaze went beat for beat in a friendly “beat-off” (lol, ok, that didn’t sound right)

Look how happy the whole crowd is! Now this is one of those perfect hip hop moments. I remember how fun Swizz Beats vs. Kanye West was at Summerjam a couple years ago. This is even better.
I can’t wait for more footage of this to come out (hit me if you see any), looked amazing!

(read more about Red Bull Big Tune here, and on one of the finalists here)

UPDATE: More footage from the beat battle after the jump…

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