July 2007

besides wallowing in hip hop trivialities, i enjoy….lots and lots of TV (from Top Chef to Poker After Dark* to 30 Rock** to The Office ), Harry Potter (yup, I said it), and eating. Also, eating while enjoying the first two. But I’m totally addicted to the show Lost.

So, for all the Lost*** nerds, the word is that Michael is coming back for season four. He got alot of ‘splainin’ to do.

*Well, its not this, but I did win a celeb spades tournament once.

**if you didnt love The Source Awards episode, you can’t be trusted.

**this could be interesting.

remember what I was telling you about rappers with a sense of humor….

Here’s another prime example…

Kanye posted a new video for “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” featuring Zach Galifianakis, Will Oldham, and a tractor. Never heard of them? Not important.

thank you to my homie FWMJ for making me listen to this. I got the link earlier but I kinda brushed it off…..Pimp C from the legendary UGK calling up an Atlanta radio station and screaming on the whole rap game? I thought it could wait. But I was so wrong. This made my day. No…my week.

I’m not saying that I agree with all of Pimp C’s life choices but I definitely respect his position, and well, this call is just entertaining. I’ll pick my favorite parts after work but for now…

Just click here to listen to the call.

And these are some of the quotes that Pimp C made about Jeezy, Russell Simmons, Neyo, and others that folks in Atlanta were so mad about.

On Mike Jones and Lil Flip’s jewelry: “Them big ol’ plates they be wearing that look like dinner plates? Them diamonds are monkey. You need to take that monkey sh*t back cause you embarrassing us.” On Young Jeezy: “Muthafuc**rs talking about they’ve got kilos for $17,500. B*tch, ain’t no kilos for $17,500 up there, and you know what I’m talking about. Come to Houston and get the work and pop it cause we’re right there by San Antonio and we’re going down there and gettin’ the work. And guess what, man. All y’all ni**as talking about selling dope? If y’all ni**as was some d-boys, guess what, man? I don’t believe you ni**as no more cause I’m seeing you ni**as in button up shirts getting cute and pretty trying to look sexy. Ni**a, f*ck you. Ni**a, and I ain’t gotta say your name. Play with me and I’ll expose the ni**as that was wearing backpacks with their pant leg rolled up back then in Atlanta when me and Big Meech used to be off in the club kickin’ it buying each other champagne.”

On Russell Simmons: “I just made peace with the lil ni**a Short Dawg cause on the cool, it really wasn’t his fault. It was ol’ d*ck-in-the-booty Russell Simmons fault for not taking the message back to him and telling him to change his name. Yeah, I said ‘d*ck-in-the-booty.’ I know what I’m talking about. B*tch, I’ll air you out too.”

On Ne-Yo: “I ain’t out here dressing up trying to be sexy licking my lips like old gay a** Ne-Yo. Licking lips and sh*it, ni**a. P*ssy d*ck in the booty a*s ni**a wearing all that gotda*n lip gloss at their video shoots and letting ni**as put makeup on their face. Yeah, I said Ne-Yo, you heard what the f*ck I said. Ni**as putting all that lip gloss on they f**kin’ lips looking like they’ve just been eating a pork chop sandwich with no hands.”

(spotted at Memphisrap.com)

I love Lil Jon because he’s secure enough to be happy in his skin, smart enough to laugh at himself, and honestly, one of the most down to earth I’ve ever known. Seriously. He’s one of the few celebs you can have a conversation with without ever feeling that annoying pressure to just fill space with small talk.

Anyways, he told me that Will Ferrell and the folks from Will’s new comedy website FunnyOrDie.com had reached out because they wanted to do some skits. And here is the first one. Definitely looking forward to seeing more. The site itself is a bit uneven, but their cursing baby landlord skit is completely hilarious.

Here is Lil Jon’s “Terminal Bling”….
Lil Jon: Terminal Bling

And here is Will Ferrell’s “The Landlord”….
The Landlord

yeah, I know…50 Cent’s Curtis album and Kanye’s Graduation album are both dropping on September 11th. The date is an infamous one, both releases are important ones, and the Battle of the SuperEgos has already begun. But lets be honest, both Curtis and Graduation will leak long before 9-11-07 anyways, so the actual drop date isnt really that interesting to me. I’m fascinated by how 50 and Kanye are handling this issue so very differently (and yet, exactly in keeping with their different personalities).

50 Cent’s 9-11 strategy= intimidate, plant fear, force reaction.

“I hope they see and understand what’s getting ready to happen. I’m not moving, I’m coming September 11, and if Kanye come that day, then he come that day. I mean that would be great if he actually stayed in that date. I think his people are smart, and I think he’s smart too, and I think they’ll move. But I’m coming September 11….Jay’s not gonna let that happen anyways.”

Watch it on Flex’s youtube video, the quote is around the 7:28 mark.

Kanye’s 9-11 strategy= One Love, one world, one release date, warm fuzzy Dropout Bear hugs for all. Checkmate!

“I’d rather come out on a day like that, up against 50 — where people are excited about going to the stores and it’s an event and people talk about it —I’ll rather come out be #2 on that day than come out and be #1 on a day nobody cares about. Its about things going down in history. And aint that much excited stuff in hip hop right now and I think that’s real exciting…and at the end of the day, I’m just making music and I’m trying to sell.”

Watch Kanye on MTV News…

So yesterday, DJ Kast One and DJ Enuff played me this youtube video of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, on the island of Cebu, Philippines. According to a description online, “The inmates have livelihood programs and personal savings accounts, allowing them to earn and save money for legal fees or the families they left behind. Perhaps even more impressive is what they do with the rest of their time: rehearse and perform elaborate parades and dance numbers.

Impressive? 1,500 Inmates working together like Michael would have wanted=Fantastic. Here is “Thriller”…..

and Sister Act 2 (not sure why there are real women in this routine, but not in the Thriller one)….

Well, here in the States….we have a different type of prison recreation.


Or This….

(*lol, this is a classic classic flick, though. Penitentiary 1, 2, and 3? A different kind of genius)

One of my favorite things in the whole world (well, besides Pan-tree fro-yo in Flushing Qns; and the 30 Rock episodes online; and the new Harry Potter book–8.3 million sold in 24 hours, beeches; and InSpa World) is watching random people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities doing the latest hip hop dance moves in their crappy dorm rooms or dens, while wearing their favorite sweatpants or Against the Wall jeansuits, on youtube. I love it love it love it!

But whats even better is when huge international mega-mogul pop icons try to get hip with the kids by doing the same dance in their stage show.

Today’s nugget of snap-happy goodness is the “Crank Dat Soulja Boy” dance, by Soulja Boy, of course.

Here’s a prime example…

or this kid kills it too..

And here is Beyonce attempting to crank dat, onstage in Atlanta…

At least Beyonce managed to crank dat a little better than these girls…

But too bad Beyonce couldn’t crank dat as well as these two girls…

or even these little boys, hahaha….

Not that I should talk, the only parts I can do is the “superman,” the weird jazz-hands part, and the pointing at my shoe part. sigh….

Last night Lil Wayne tore down the Beacon theater, bringing out guest stars like Kanye West, Juelz Santana and of course his daddy, the Birdman Baby.

Weezy also showcased his new guitar-playing skills (which is a whole different issue that I can’t address without sedation). And closed out the killer show with Khaled’s “We Takin’ Over.” He performed both freestyles and hits, and basically worked NY into a tizzy. However, he did not address recent comments by Jay-Z (“Put you all in your place / Like I’m replacing your father), the Clipse (“If you wobble dee wobble dee, you can’t be a legend“), or 50 Cent (“A whore sleeps with whoever will pay them. So we gotta call him a whore.”)

Weezy did take time to complain about how police were treated him backstage, mainly because, according to inside sources, security and po-po wanted to put their hands on him to search him before soundcheck. In hindsight, airing those grievances onstage may have not been the best idea…because right after the show, police pulled over Weezy’s tourbus, and arrested the rapper eater for possession of a 40 caliber pistol.

Just an hour earlier, Ja Rule was arrested after joining Weezy onstage. Police found a gun in his Maybach and took him away in handcuffs.

Yes, these arrests were all made by the NYPD’s Intel squad. Which is actually the infamous “hip hop police unit” that we’ve all heard about. (Kudos to them for finding a much cooler name. Sounds like something out of a Bourne movie.) Now obviously the Intel squad have a massive hard-on for arresting any and all rappers. Which is kinda sorta profiling, and unfair.

But since that is the case, and non-debatable….how about NOT carrying your gun with you while you a)blaze piff in your tourbus which has your mug plastered all over it, b)speed up the westside highway with your cronies in a 350k car with rims and tint. I dunno, just a thought. (if you’re clean, then by all mean, stunt like you’re doing it for TV.)

(and dont give me that “rappers need guns for protection” crap Thats what off-duty cops are for)

my pals (Rahman Dukes, Shaheem Reid, Andrea Duncan-Mao, Joseph Patel, Jayson Rodriguez, Sway, Sean Lee, Buttahman, Touma) over at the old plantation, MTV News, got together for Hip Hop Week at MTV and did another roundtable, discussing their picks for “The Hottest MCs in Hip Hop.” The special actually airs on July 29th, 2pm on MTV2, but I got a special preview from the producer himself, Rahman Dukes.

looks like it will spark some good debate. But for the record, I disagree with the placement of Jay-Z and 50 Cent. You’ll have to wait to see if you feel the same : ) But I’ll post the links as they come up.

from last night’s DJ Enuff/RPM Superjam….you can watch videos from that here and here…….

[audio:Mos Def Hustla Freestyle.mp3]

(*props to Kanye for my new favorite term, lol)

(and also props to my co-worker and fellow “hustler” Rodney for the audio! Thank you for also preventing me from duffing out any French diplomat nannys, hee hee)

UPDATE: Here is a link to download the audio since some f— at wordpress decided that I dont have a right to upload audio from my own job’s event…asses

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