Have people cracked open that egg nog early? Because there’s no other explanation I can see (other than drunken lactose-intolerant raw-yolk fever) for folks to be cosigning such obvious bullshit this past weekend…

PART 1: Lil Wayne totes guns, and makes number weed runs….

Can you believe this Lil Wayne photo that TMZ posted? With the headline:

“Lil’ Wayne — Is That a Shotgun in Your Pocket?: Lil’ Wayne struck a deadly pose — brandishing what appears to be a high-powered shotgun on his tour bus over the summer.”

um…I’m no ballistics expert, but that looks more like a pneumatic nail gun than a shotgun.  Luckily, Young Money contacts like Karen Civil immediately stepped up to clarify, that’s a pellet gun in Wayne’s hand. Ah doy! Honestly, I’m shocked at TMZ, they’re thorough enough to scoop everyone on the death of Michael Jackson, but fell way short on this one.

PART 2: Asher Roth’s Ass-Gate 2009. The Battle for Asher’s Bung.

Ok, I keed, but honestly…folks were buzzing last night about this “scoop” that appeared on an mysterious, un-vetted site called CWebNews, about Asher Roth announcing he is “the” Gay Rapper. The headline was:

“Asher Roth to Appear on E!News to talk about new “Gay Lifestyle“

What about that ridiculous headline even sounds plausible?? Of course Asher could be gay, and there would be nothing wrong with that. But he’s not even the first that comes to my mind. (Do Asher’s flip flops raise your gaydar?)

Then in the “report,” there’s this convenient mention of a guy who wrote a book about all the gays in hip hop, without naming any names. Hmm. That makes me want to buy his book on Amazon, doesn’t it? ["Message!" (c) School Daze]

But the most damning blow to the credibility of this scoop: Who has ever gone on E! News to announce anything? (#noshots)

As much as this idiocracy made me angry…it was all worth it because this morning, we got a punchline from Ill Doctrine’s JSmooth:

When you click on the link, you see a new CWebNews’s headline:

“Jay Smooth Announces Plan to Sell Brooklyn Bridge:
Jay Smooth, host of the Oscar and Emmy-winning videoblog Illdoctrine.com, announced this week he is selling the historic Brooklyn Bridge. The stunning announcement was made during the E! News channel’s annual Kwanzaa special…”

GENIUS!!!

Evidently, anyone can submit any story to that site.

Read the rest of Jay’s Onion-like gem after the jump…

UPDATE: Asher Roth released this statement:
“I hate to disappoint and take away the entertainment of it all but I am straight, not gay. It’s disheartening to know such “news” on someone’s personal life can be portrayed as fact with no viable source. This, to me, is an opportunity to expose our vulnerability to lies and manipulation through unprofessional and irresponsible news outlets, in which people consider TRUTH. Further, someone’s sexual orientation should NEVER be big news, as it delivers a troubling message to children that they can’t be themselves without fear of judgment. Race, creed, and sexual persuasion should not just be tolerated but understood and accepted. It’s extremely disappointing that this topic would be used with the intention of being hurtful. We are near 2010….2010!! Yet race, sex and religion still play a major role in a hate driven society. For the love of the future and humanity….let’s wake up.” (via RapRadar)

(more…)

Watch CBS News Videos Online

I saw this fascinating segment on 60 Minutes last night about a very suspect deal between one of the biggest Yakuza organized-crime lords in Japan, and the FBI. The crime lord, Tadamasa Goto, needed a liver transplant*, so he made a deal with the US Government (according to this report) to give up information about Yakuza business-holdings in the US, in exchange for a no-wait liver transplant.
This guy got bumped from #80 on the list, to #1 (He also paid UCLA Medical Center, $1 million)….and there were other Yakuza gangsters who also got liver transplants as well….essentially killing a few innocent people who were next in line for organs.
The irony is that, reportedly, after the surgery, Goto went back to Japan, and only gave up a fraction of the intel that he promised. See ya, suckers.

(Interesting facts: 1) the tell-tale full-body tattoos of the Yakuza actually make it hard for their bodies to sweat, and lead to increased liver problems…I’m sure heavy-drinking doesnt help either. 2) *organ donation is not widely practiced in Japan. Sounds like a cultural/religious resistance.) (thanks to Hyun/LTD for the link to the webvid)

(print version of CBS’ Yakuza story)

Rape is rape, even by talented people.

Jsmooth works himself into a froth, for our clarity.

I had to ask folks on twitter if I really saw what I thought I saw at the end of the VMAs tonite. Did Lil Mama really just run up onstage and ruin the ending of the show-closing Jay-Z and Alicia Keys duet?

yup.

(lol! spotted on Elliott’s twitpic)

wise words….

(totally off-topic…ree-hah-na? ree-hannah?)

All of New York City (and the connected hip hop universe beyond as well) is on fire because of a song that was sent to my co-worker DJ Kay Slay tonite. The song starts with Uncle Murda, and then Hov comes in and says this:

“Gangsta, Gangsta, how you wanna do this? I clap n—as down for yappin’ all foolish, ain’t no stopping this Roc-a-fella movement. The name is Jay Guevera, homie, who are you? and, if your off-beat DJ, anything he play sound familiar? I’ll wait ’til Pharell say, “Play ‘em.”**

Now I’mma have to diss you, Joe. You can get a smack for that, matter fact, the gats will blow….your toy squad will get squashed, Boy–yard dee, you’re lost in the sauce partly because your boss ain’t a leader. He’s a follower. No, I’m not coppin’ ya album or your single, most likely you’ll go copper…”

(**using Pharrell’s own voice)

“He Asked For It” by Uncle Murda, feat. Jay-Z (from thisis50)

The song is hot. The beat is fire, the Brand Nubian hook is crazy, Murda’s verse is hard, and of course Hov’s verse is classic, vintage, gully Hov.

Maybe because it’s exactly that…..vintage.

ACCORDING TO [EDIT: AN INSIDE SOURCE]:

THAT’S A FREESTYLE OFF A MIXTAPE FROM AROUND 5 YEARS AGO. MIGHT HAVE BEEN AROUND THE TIME OF S.CARTER [The sneaker and mixtape]. AND DJ KHALED WAS NOT ADDRESSED IN THE VERSE AT ALL.

And thankfully, Just Blaze has also stepped in with his voice of reason….

“So for some reason people think this “new” Jay/Uncle Murda thing is a Fat Joe Khaled dis. It’s not. It’s also like 8000 years old and somehow dude got his hands on it and put a verse on it. Now that I recall, it’s Blueprint 2 era..I was going to use this verse for the S.Carter Remix CD but we couldn’t get the Pro Tools in time. Don’t fall for the okeydoke.”

So who is trying to use Jay-Z’s status, reignite an old beef with Fat Joe, and create a non-existant beef with DJ Khaled?

Either someone who is super thirsty to heat up their career. Or someone who is super thirsty to get at Fat Joe.

Either way, that s—t is fraudulent and wack.

More analysis after the jump….

(more…)

these peepin’ paps smell chum in the water and are just gonna keep circling this guy until they can sneak a bite.

it gets especially awkward/awesome at the 6:50 mark

best lines:
“There’s very little that happens without his knowledge….I think he dissed you.”

“Its like we caught him getting a manicure or something…”

“We’re gonna go save the country…”

” A New York City nightclub worker has confessed to beating a woman to death during a Sunday night birthday celebration for rapper Lil’ Kim, the police commissioner said.

Rahman Syed, 24, was arrested at his home on Thursday after the body of Ingrid Rivera, also 24, was found stuffed in a rooftop utility room on Wednesday afternoon.

No charges have been laid but Syed, a bartender’s assistant at the Spotlight Live club in Times Square, admitted killing Rivera, New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said.

Rivera was last seen at Spotlight Live, where bouncers kicked her out because she was drunk. Police said that was when Rivera met Syed, who offered to take her to find a friend.

Syed hit Rivera with a metal pipe in the building’s elevator shed in the early hours of Monday after she refused his advances, police said.” (source, thank you to flawlesspinkice)

this literally makes me sick to my stomach. Ladies, just imagine being tipsy and having a bartender (who was possibly feeding you free drinks in the hopes that it’ll make his plans easier) pushing up on you, and then ending your life because you say no. (Guys, imagine this happening to your sister/mother/daughter/friend while you’re too far away to help)

sigh….

Fortunately, they caught him….but it’s not like he’ll get what he deserves. (not in this state at least)

disgusting.

I’m not entirely sure that the fellas wanted this footage out there like this, seeing as how they have some legal moves to be made. But now that its been leaked, we can all see how scary insecure security can be.