13 Hours: The Secret Soliders of Benghazi..I mean…it can’t actually get worse than this, right? Michael Bay and assorted Hollywood slopchops deciding that they’re the right folks to turn the 2012 terrorist attack on the US embassy in Benghazi, Libya (that left 2 American diplomats and 2 CIA agents dead) into their own personal chest-thumping Zero Dark Transformers moment. Woo-Ah!

But Bay isn’t Kathryn Bigelow (although he does somewhat remind me of another Hollywood megalomanic, Bigelow’s former husband James Cameron). Michael Bay is the man who made last year’s important cultural contribution…the movie Ouija. Yes. Based on the board game for paranoid schizophrenics. Along with all the Transformers, Purges, Bad Boys (those were actually pretty good), and The Rock (again, a retro favorite but in hindsight, cheesy).

Judging from this fantastically cringe-worthy red-band trailer…Jim Halpert AND Roy Anderson from “The Office” (actors Jim Krasinski and David Denman) are two of the real life Navy Seals who rushed to the embassy after it was attacked, along with a few other B-level mall-heartthrobs, like “Pornstache” from “OITNB” (actor Pablo Schreiber, brother of Liev).

Just watch it, after the jump, and count the Michael Bay movie-franchise mashups…

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(Merceeeeeeeedes Beeeeeeeennzzzzz Produuuuct Plaaaaaacement!)

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(I’m running from a massive explosion because the debris can’t hurt me if my back is turned. You knew this, right?)

And I was angry after that American Sniper crap from Clint Eastwood…oh boy, this is gonna be the best hate-watch ever. You know it’s going to boil your blood when Fox News is already using it for their political foolishness.



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