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Amber Rose and Emmanuelle Chriqui (Entourage) look very pretty on the ESPYs red carpet. *Double-checks event description. Scratches head.*

In the wake of the recent World Cup madness and Lebron-o-Gate, I think I’ve watched more sports and ESPN than maybe ever? And I like it! As for last night’s ESPY awards, well…Some of the skits were hilarious (Tracy Morgan’s Invictus audition) and the Arthur Ashe Award segment made me cry. But then there were some head-smacking moments: Armando Galaragga’s teleprompter read, Mark Walhberg’s oozing egomania, and my favorite, those odd ESPY fashions.

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Snowboarder Shaun White (and speedracer Danica Patrick) vs The Bee Gees:
This is on purpose, right?

See more photos and Espy Award snark after the jump….

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Actresses Ashley Green (Twilight) and January Jones (MadMen):
So, where exactly is the magical store where these gals get their space cadet dresses with the unflattering hemlines, and jigsaw cut-outs?

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Surfer Hannah Cornett and trackstar LoLo Jones:
Athletes can afford stylists, so there’s really no excuse for this Margaritaville slipdress and the messy pigtails. As for Lolo, low-cut dresses are a nono when your cleavage has a sixpack.

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Athlete of the Year winner Drew Brees (New Orleans Saints):
I don’t really know this guy, but he’s clearly like a big deal : ) And I’m into it! Here’s why…I like the sheen that he’s covered in. Is it Aqua Velva? Also, this man not only thanked the “Who Dat Nation” in his acceptance speech, but he’s wearing a trap-star rubberband with his Superbowl ring, and that birthmark on his face kind of looks like a giant rose-colored tear tattoo. Is this turning you on, Kimora?