I’ve been waiting for this all week….ever since I was asked to squeeze my mind-grapes by the Complex big cheese about chain re-allocation over the years…. thank God it’s Friday, because the round-up is here.

Complex opens up the back of the truck on some classic rap jewel runnings, also rating them on the YungBerg “emasculation”-meter. (5 cornball donkey Bergs means you’ve been left with a ball-gag and designer gladiator sandals on)

Classic quotes from the roundup….

Ice Cube vs Kam and B-Real….

“If you rap on the West Coast, it’s only a matter of time before you grow tired of Ice Cube’s acting skills. First he acted like a gangster, then he acted like he was in the Nation, then he acted like an actor (arguably his best role). Cube’s cousin Kam got tired of dude acting like he was from South Central, and had his homie rob O’Shea of his Westside Connection chain at a party. He then gave the chain to Cypress Hill’s B-Real for a photo opportunity (Real was salty at Cube for acting like he wrote the hook to his Friday soundtrack song “Throw Your Set In The Air,” which Real felt was bitten from his own song of the same name)”

Fat Joe vs. random internet thug…..

“Fat Joe is the realest rapper ever. Ever, ever. Seriously, that guy eats rocks for breakfast. So when Complex heard there was a guy on the internet with a site where you could, for $10, download a video him telling the story of how he stole Fat Joe’s TS chain. Unfortunately, the dread’s e-commerce game was not on the same level as his robbery game, ’cause when Complex tried to fork over 10 bucks to him we couldn’t get it to work. Consequently, this so-called robbery made as much noise as a tree falling in the forest with no one there to hear it.”

Click here to go through the whole line-up….

So….can you guys remind me of any other infamous (and not totally bogus) rap chain-snatchings?

(list of the ones covered after the jump…)

-Rakim and LL Cool J vs. the original 50 Cent

-Ice Cube vs Kam and B-Real

-Death Row vs. Orlando Anderson

-Ja Rule vs. 50 Cent

-celebs vs LA gangbangers

-Prodigy vs Prodigy

-D-tay vs. Chicago gangbangers

-Fat Joe vs. random e-thug

-Young Buck vs Nashville thugs

-Jim Jones vs Tru Life

-50 Cent vs. an Angolan

-Tyga vs 40Glocc

-Yung Berg vs Diezel

Oh snap, what about T-Pain vs. NY thugs? And what about that diamond-flooded Rolex that surfaced a few months ago here in New York….hmm.