thank you Weezy.

I had a grumpy day today and you made me laugh with your kooky way of looking at the world. I love how you use your hometown as a general explanation for all social situations. And I also love how you embrace 50’s criticism and somehow manage to tie random R&B singers into the conversation as well.

Thank you for being you. You remind me of Tracy Jordan from 30-Rock.

My girl Laura Checkoway wrote this month’s Lil Wayne cover story for Vibe Magazine (big look, L!), in which Weezy discusses how his mother urged him to have a baby at the age of 16 because she needed a playmate. Classy. Weezy also discusses the origins of his relationship with Baby. Nothing salacious there, sorry. And he even praises Supahead as his big sister/homie/lover/friend. Eww.

But it was the online outtakes of Weezy’s interview that brightened my day….

“It’s so wrong how the cops stay steadily profiling rappers, trying to figure out some fake industry beef.
I’m not gonna murder a rapper, that’s like a cliche. I don’t wanna kill 50 Cent! Because he got fans. I don’t know who’s riding with him! I need to beef with niggas that I know. I don’t know how many people like 50 Cent. So if he said Lil Wayne’s a hoe, Lil Wayne’s a hoe. The word whore, that’s a nigga who be smashing a lot, like fucking a lot.

Don’t you call yourself that in a song?
Yeah, I said I’m a whore. I’m a whore. Whatever. And I live it to the fullest. I’m like Trey Songz, no homo.

Huh? Why?
Every picture of this nigga, he got his fucking shirt off! He’s looking at the camera like he’s looking at a hoe. I said, ya know what? Trey Songz don’t give a fuck – he be like, Fuck ya’ll nig*as! I’m eating, bwoy! Fuck how you think I look in this picture, your hoe love this picture! It’s her screensaver nig*a! When you call your hoe, my song play, fool! Holla! Trey Songz I fuck with you, you heard me?

So you respect his gangster.
I know he a G ’cause I tried to holler at his girlfriend and she said no.

Really?
I don’t even wanna put that man out there, that might not be his girlfriend, but in her mind she think she yours, dog, and she told me no for you, so you’s a G….”

That is awesome.