Mikey: Well there’s definitely two people out there that won’t appreciate this, but for the rest of us… here’s Trey Parker & Matt Stone’s take on the Tiger Woods Scandal, South Park “The Sex Addiction Outbreak.”

Related: Missinfo: …..lord, help us….if these text messages from Tiger to some chick Joslyn James are really real….I’m on the next horse carriage to the great beyond. Seriously. Dude.

read them (*Not safe for work….not appropriate for youngsters*) and weep like a baby….after the jump…

(spotted on Deadspin, via RealtalkNY)

Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard

Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Tiger:Sent: 09:20 AM 09/03/2009:
Was playing sexy

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don’t Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck