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Last month there was a report/rumor going round that Rick Ross was getting his own advice column in Rolling Stone. And well shit, put molly all in my champagne without me even knowing, because Rick Ross actually has his own advice column in Rolling Stone. I’ll let you guys be the jury on whether Rick “U.E.O.N.O.” Ross is a qualified candidate for Agony Aunt, but once you forget about all that (if you can), this is a truly hilarious read.

Need to silence your haters? “Sounds like it’s time to go into boss mode.” Thinking about cheating on a test? “Why not?” Your pops trying to turn up with you and your boys? “I say have an open-door policy. Come on in, Dad!” Wise words only a true bawse could share.

Read Rick Ross’ advice column below…

rick ross advice column rolling stone

[via Def Jam]

Related: New Video: Rick Ross “Rich Is Gangsta”