Tue 15 Jan 2013
When the time is fitting, Kid Cudi is known to bring fans deep into personal highs and dark scathing lows. After sharing the cover with his G.O.O.D. Music family last year, the Cleveland-native returns as the face of Complex Magazine‘s February/March 2013 issue. For his fourth cover story (a record for Complex), Cudder brings us up to date with his battle with depression, the mental battle with prescription meds a new found rebirth, and taking on the role of producer leading up to his upcoming forth solo album Indicud.
Taking in some west coast air, ‘Plex’s own Joe La Puma spends time with Cudi in Los Angeles where he also touches on having only one placement on G.O.O.D. Music’s Cruel Summer, moving out of the ‘groupie’ stage, and how serious he takes parenting with his daughter Vada. Before you pickup a copy when it hits newsstands on February 4, read as Cudi opens up below.
Click after the jump…..
When you were working on “Efflictim” for the WZRD EP, you said you would wake up in a terrible mood. Are you having fewer of those days now?
Hell yeah. Every day is an adventure. [Laughs.] My last relationship took a lot out of me. I needed to reboot and rebuild my life. I’m in a positive place now, a happier place. I’m enlightened. It’s better when you get older because you start to see things from a different perspective. Whether it’s love, or just trying to figure out what you’re going to do in life.
Are you enjoying being single?
I enjoy living my life for me and not by someone else’s rules. It gets lonely but the loneliness doesn’t bother me. I have time to think, time to write, time to myself. I’m winging it every day. I hope love finds me. I always hope for that. But now I’m super happy. I got my party shoes on every night.
Last time we spoke was in March. What’s been going on since then?
It’s been crazy for me. I took a trip on antidepressant lane for a little bit. After the WZRD song “Dr. Pill” everyone thought I was talking about molly or ecstasy. But I’m talking about prescription meds. I had just gotten a shrink. I was having an emotional breakdown with this breakup. I kept trying different pills for five months. It fucked me up.
You addressed that on “Just What I Am.”
They weren’t working. It was every side effect on the bottle. I couldn’t fuck. My body didn’t work. It was not good. I said, “Something’s wrong with me. What the fuck? Why do I feel like I want to punch an elephant?” [Laughs.] “Why am I so irritable?” I finally got off the pills and then I started feeling normal. My brain went back to where it needed to be. I was able to analyze things and get my shit together.
What about therapy? Was that helping you?
A year ago I wouldn’t even go to a therapist or psychiatrist. But I gave it a shot. It’s working for me but it’s not for everyone. I’ve got some fucking problems. [Laughs.] It’s good for me to talk to someone who helps me see things. I had no other choice.
I was like, “Damn, I have to take a pill in order to be OK?” It bothered me. That was a real good moment after I got off the pills. I started to feel like myself again. I was happy and shit. I don’t need anything to make me feel good. I just need to get my mind in check and stop trippin’ on bullshit. I need to stop letting motherfuckers break me down, and make me feel like shit. I got to be a little stronger for myself and for my family and my fans. I can’t be out here like some simp, letting something beat me down and make me feel like a peon. It was about reclaiming who I am. It’s like “All right, let’s go. It’s time. Fuck everyone.” [Laughs.]
When you think about how important your dad was in your life, how does that affect your relationship with your daughter?
I realized I can’t be so controlling. I don’t have this, “Oh my God, I gotta make sure Vada has every toy and every single thing on this planet.” Or “I gotta make sure she does this or that.” I just want her to be a human being. I’ll guide her when she needs help. Sometimes you have to let the universe put things together. I’m letting life guide me so there’s no pressure anymore. It’s a peaceful thing.
Did that help you be a better father?
No. I was A-plus since day one. That’s what bothered me about that shit that came out [on TMZ about the child custody case]. Why the fuck would I be a deadbeat? I was like, “That’s preposterous.” I didn’t fucking have a dad since I was a kid. I couldn’t wait to have a family and pick up where my dad left off, and be there for my kid.
Why would I not be right there? My daughter was a month premature. So I couldn’t get there but I got there the second day—boom. On it. I don’t fuck around with that shit. That’s my seed. I don’t know what type of people write this stuff. Maybe they’re sad and bummed about their own life. It pisses me off that there’s gossip with my daughter’s name in it and it’s false.
You only had one song on Cruel Summer. Were you disappointed?
I was a little disappointed. But Kanye had a vision for that. Whatever that vision was didn’t include much of me. [Laughs.] I was bummed because I could’ve contributed. I’m a good asset. But he had a different vision. Everyone that was showcased on the album did their thing and they needed that at that time. The energy was on some hip-hop shit. I was on WZRD, doing my rock shit. But I’m not tripping. “Creepers” was a jam I was holding onto for a while. It was waiting for that perfect platform and it happened to be great for that album. It would’ve been dope to have more. I want to apologize to the fans for not having more. But [sings] Ohhhh it ain’t my fault.
Read the full cover story here.