Kanye West death stare! LOL.

Kanye West’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live was set up as a mediation session after their confusing twitter “beef” of two weeks ago…what it ended up being was more like 15% Kimmel copping please, with the rest of the show being one long, dizzying, fascinating, run-on, inspiring, name-dropping, mission statement from Kanye West. (Oh, and 0% Arctic Monkeys. The musical guests got booted from the lineup because of Kanye’s verbosity, lol)

At one point, Ye tells Jimmy, he doesn’t care about public opinion because he’s “not running for office,” but by the end, Ye thanks Kimmel for “the platform”…and he definitely uses the network TV couch-time to rail against disrespectful paparazzi, and more importantly, doubting fashion and entertainment titans who aren’t willing to give Kanye the chance he needs to create “awesomeness.” Kanye reiterates many of the same points he made during that incredible Zane Lowe BBC interview, but there are plenty new Kanye quotables to enjoy as well.

“And the way paparazzi talk to me and my family is disrespectful. We bring something of joy to the world. When people hear my music, they have a good time. And I should be respected as such when I walk down the street. Don’t try to antagonize me. Because you know what, it’s not safe for you in this zoo. Never think that I’m not from Chicago for one second.”

I nerded out and transcribed the full interview…because sleep is for suckers.
Read the best Kanye x Kimmel quotes…
After the jump

Transcript of Kanye West on Jimmy Kimmel Live: (please excuse typos, lol)

Jimmy Kimmel: I think somewhere in you, you want people to understand where you’re coming from…I’ll be honest with you, I only saw parts of the [Zane Lowe] interview. (Kanye: yeah, that’s what I thought) In fairness, we took it out of context. We had little kids reenact it…I didn’t think it’d be something you’d be bothered by.
The truth is…the main reason I did that is because I like to see little kids curse. I think it’s funny. (*Kanye laughs*) I think some people think we were positioning you as a child, but that’s not true. In fact, we’ve done this to other people, like Lady Gaga…But this is not something you knew. And you called me….A lot of people think this is some kind of publicity stunt. But it’s not…
Kanye West: Everyone out there in TV world, real world, whatever world you stay in, needs to know I’ve never done a publicity stunt in my life…I don’t do publicity stunts, ever. So don’t ever think that.

Kimmel: So we talked on the phone, I didn’t know why you were calling. I heard you were upset. We had a bad conversation, right?
Kanye: I knew you before. And I remember you telling me, I want people to know this side of you…so it was a combination of me knowing you, but also me NOT knowing the person who wrote a bad headline on the cover of In Touch…well this is the one person I know. So I can go and let out everything that I feel about every single bogus weekly cover, every skit, every single rumor in barber shops, everything that people feel is ok to treat celebrities like zoo animals….so it elevated from a conversation that we had like men…you take a guy, Jimmy does his thing. And I do my thing…egos flare up and we kind of took back to high school for a minute.(Kimmel: and I got beat up a lot in high school)

Kimmel: …This is a guy who’s got millions of dollars, he got a beautiful wife and a baby, we can’t possibly hurt this guy. And to be honest, even though I’m in that same position too, it’s not something that comes to my mind when I’m cooking up a comedy sketch. And some of these things are hurtful, and the truth is important. But on the other hand, I think you bring it on yourself, this kind of misunderstanding.
I personally found it odd to be in the position that I was in because I often… I don’t know if you know this, a lot of people think you’re a jerk. And I often, in my own personal conversations, say, no, I know this guy, he is not a jerk….[*shows a photo of Kanye with Kimmel’s dad] You went to a wedding of a friend of mine, I think you took a Southwest Airlines flight just to go to a coworker’s wedding and then to be so nice to everyone there, that tells me a lot about you…and I’ve always said that. I know part of you doesn’t care, I see you onstage saying, I don’t want to hold your baby, I’ll drop your baby on it’s head…I don’t believe any of that stuff when you say it.”

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Kanye: I’m not running for office, I’m just here to make good music, and make people feel good….When I did that [Zane Lowe] interview, I was really vocal about what I’ve been going through in the past 10 years, being classified as “just a celebrity.”
Because for me, I’m a creative genius and there’s no other way to word it. I know you’re not supposed to say that about yourself, I say things the wrong way a lot of times but my intention is always positive…I want to help the world. I want to make peoples’ lives easier.
I spent two of my checks when I was in telemarketing when I was 18 years old, on Gucci slippers, before there was H&M and Za-ra, you couldn’t just find cool stuff when you were growing up. And for me, I care about cool stuff. It means something to me, it means stuff to a lot of people, and that’s what I was talking about on the Zane interview. So when I come on here, I can laugh and joke, and people can say, ok we love Kanye or we think his baby is cute or whatever…but for me, it’s bigger than who I am in my presence, living. It’s about when I was on earth what did I do to help? And at what point did I hit a glass ceiling where people said you’re a celebrity you can’t help in this box, you can’t help in this box….but I talked to Quincy Jones at John Legend’s wedding, and you do music, you can do anything. Once you’re a producer, you understand textures and colors. I have an art background even before I was a musicians.
People told me I couldn’t rap. People had all this advice for me. And I wouldn’t even say I’m a rapper, I’m more of a messenger than a rapper. So even when you say rap beef it undermines it, and keeps re-contexting what I said.
If you look at the Zane interview, it’s really fearless for someone in my position to do….because most people just bow down to TV or these cameras. I could care less about these cameras, I care about my family, I care about protecting my girl, protecting my baby, and protecting my ideas and dreams.

Kimmel: When you say you’re a genius that upsets people, but the truth is a lot people think they’re a genius, and it’s weird to say it, but it’s more honest…
Kanye: I’m totally weird, and I’m totally honest, and I’m totally inappropriate sometimes. But for me to say I wasn’t a genius, I’d be totally lying to you and to myself.
Kimmel: It’s false humility….
Kanye: Oh my god. It comes with your first ticket to LA, soon as you get off the plane, here’s your false humility. Maybe if you’ll get a star on the walk of fame for kissing ass.
By the way, I want to shoutout the Walk of Fame, they said something like they’re not gonna put my girl on the Walk of Fame because she’s a reality star. People are so so dated and not modern. There’s no way a Kim Kardashian shouldn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame. Its ridiculous old concepts. I’m just gonna give y’all the truth. It’s like…My grandfather loved Ali until he died, and my grandmother hated Ali ’til she passed. So you’re gonna love me or you’re gonna hate me, but I’m gonna be me.

Kimmel: Do you really think I look like Spongebob [Squarepants]?
Kanye: It’s the first thing that came to my mind.
Kimmel: Could be worse I guess. Where were you when you were writing those tweets? I like to think you were on the toilet.
Kanye: Yeah that’s when I come up with my best shit.
I was just in my old home in LA. When I was writing them, there was a frustration that I was getting out but also, they were really funny to me…and I just thought it was so amazing that I was saying this in real time, in real life, because in my position, you’re not supposed to say anything…
I feel like media does everything they can to break creatives, to break artists, to break people’s spirits. And I feel like I do everything I can to break media…

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Kimmel: I do want to say congratulations on your new baby, and I made fun of this, but there really is such thing as leather jogging pants.[*hands Kanye a pair of baby-sized leather pants*] That doesn’t seem like a practical to me, that sounds sweaty.
Kanye: Well fashion isn’t always practical, it’s more about emotions, it’s more about swag, about club, about style and stuff. Me and my boy Virgil [Abloh], we sat as interns at Fendi, and that was one of the ideas we presented that didn’t go through. The reason I brought it up was because there’s people who made whole careers off of leather jogging pants. I would sit with Hedi Slimane [designer, Saint Laurent] and he would say stop giving these big brands your ideas…
I know I’m a hip hop, and I’m a rapper and everything, but I’ve got ideas that could mean something if I could put the proper production around them….So when I do the Nike Yeezy or a Louis Vuitton shoe, the production is the same as when I do my CD, when me and Rick Rubin or Mike Dean are working together.
If I make my own t-shirt and I call it Kanye. Everyone is gonna think about when I called myself a genius and say what’s genius about this?
But when people line up for the Yeezys, they’re like, oh wow, this is really genius.
You need that production…but currently in fashion, there’s no black guy at the end of the runway. And that’s what I meant when I said the Truman Show hit the boat.
Kimmel: What about the Steve Harvey Collection?
Kanye: No, no Steve Harvey collection, no extra buttons on jackets, *laughs*

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Kanye: Michael Jackson had to fight to get his videos on MTV because he was considered to be urban. This was Michael Jackson. So for me, when I’m in Paris, and I’m sitting at fashion week for 9 years, and South Park makes fun of our outfits, and people don’t understand why we are there….I still can’t break that wall down. At a certain point, it’s like Michael Jackson trying to get his videos on. Who do you know that’s known more for clothes than me?
And to have a meeting with everyone….I’m talking bout Andrew Rosen of Theory, this guy over here, Li & Fung [?], these are the real people who produce the clothes that are on your back, Zara, H&M, Francois Pinault. And everyone looks at you like you’re crazy, and you’re like how can you get a shot. And then you try to do it on your own. And no, like, real designers will work for a rapper. And you just can’t overcome it.
My grandfather drove the first cars in the marches just to get clean water. And one of the parallels that I wanted to do for you is that, Richard Pryor used to always talk about…he just wanted a clean plate. he just wanted to serve his stuff on a clean plate.
So when I do an interview in W Magazine, and they take all these “classist” shots at me…it’s not about racism anymore, it’s classism. Paula Deen, she was old school. We don’t do it like that anymore, we’re classists…So classism is what they try to do, like you’re a rapper and your girl is on a reality show so you’re not up here with us. We’re old money. (Kimmel: It’s snobbery) It’s snobbery and I’m not into all that sn-obbery, like seriously. Because we have the loudest voice. We have the loudest communication. And all we want to do is make awesome stuff. All we want is a real shot.
Not, ok, I’m a celebrity so my line has to cost $10 a t-shirt. No, I understand about quality, fabrics, I spent 10,000 hours out there. I dedicated my life to this.
People say you have to do music. Imma keep doing music. But what if people told me I couldn’t rap, what woulda happened? I’m only 36 years old, and I have other goals. I’m gonna use my platform, every platform to stand up and say: I want to make something. I want to make the next Ralph Lauren. People don’t stand up and protect their dreams. People are too scared of getting spoofed.
Thinking of a creative person at school, you think of them all the way in the back of class, sketching, or maybe getting beat up. This is reason why I did this, because creatives have been beat up my entire life. And there’s moments where I stood up to drug dealers in Chicago and said, ‘You can’t have my publishing! Come and kill me. Do whatever you’re gonna do. But you’re not gonna bully me. You’re not gonna stop me. Because my mother made me believe in myself!’ No matter how many people tell me, stop believing in yourself…I refuse to follow those rules that society has set up, the way they control people with low self-esteem with improper information, with branding, with marketing.
I refuse to follow those rules. It’s about truth, it’s about info, awesomeness. The only luxury is time. The time you spend with your family. So this concept of luxury is improper to me….you remember there were phones that cost $4,000. If somebody pulls out a Vertu phone, you look ridiculous. But there’s still people who spend $5,000 on this bag, to say, oh, we’re better than you. Taste, culture, art, just the quality of life. This is what I’m here to do.

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So when I compare myself to Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Howard Hughes, David Stern, Michaelangelo, DaVinci, Jesus…these are my heros. This is the type of impact I want to make on the earth. If I can make this kind of impact up to this point, what can I do if you call Bob Iger and say, give him a shot. If you call Oprah and say, yo, back this kid. This kid’s parents were educators, he wants to educate. He wants to look at curriculums, how do we simplify that? Exactly what I did in music, I want to apply to product, to education…
This is what my company Donda is about. I could rap all I want, but without that Rocafella chain, without Damon giving me that chain, I couldn’t make “Jesus Walks”. Now even as a celebrity, bah bah bah, I’ve reached a ceiling.
And the way paparazzi talk to me and my family is disrespectful. We bring something of joy to the world. When people hear my music, they have a good time. And I should be respected as such when I walk down the street. Don’t try to antagonize me. Because you know what, it’s not safe for you in this zoo. Never think that I’m not from Chicago for one second. And think you can walk up and disrespect me and my family constantly. And people say, well you signed up to be a celebrity and I understand you gotta get your money, it’s hard out here. But let’s have respect for each other. You do help me get money, paparazzi. You help me show people how fresh my outfit is.

Related:
Kanye West Speaks on Personal Struggles, Kim Kardashian, Paparazzi & More on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’
Jimmy Kimmel Reacts to Kanye West’s Twitter Rant
Kanye West Reacts to Jimmy Kimmel’s Recent Viral Spoof
The Kid Version of Kanye West’s ‘Jogging Pants’ Rant (Jimmy Kimmel Spoof)
Kanye West Opens Up to Zane Lowe: Talks ‘Yeezus’, Pushing Boundaries, Fashion Criticism & More (Full Interview)
Kanye West Discusses “I Am a God,” Fashion, Sex Tape and Pushing Forward Civilization with ‘W’ Magazine