HAHA! “El Forkqueta Satanica!”
I am crying after watching this clip from The Daily Show about the real reason why Donald Trump (remember Obama’s ether?) and Sarah Palin’s lunch date in Manhattan was a smack in the face in all New Yorkers…The Crimes Against True New York Pizza.

Everything about this is genius.
-The mock Trump restaurant: “The Trump All You Can Eat “Fwoah”-Gras and Caviarteria (Where you are guaranteed to contract gout…the disease of kings)”
-The seething anger over the fact that Donald Trump took Palin to a Famiglia’s Pizza….a horrid franchise that you find in every airport food court where they serve rubbery triangles of motor-oil soaked dough with ketchup and cheese whiz on top.
-Jon lists some obvious options that any assistant with a friggin’ cell phone and Yelp could have found for them instead: Lombardi’s, Grimaldi’s, Totonno’s, John’s, Arturo’s on Houston St., Denino’s, Joe’s on Bleecker….Seriously, how sad is it that Trump is so removed from the city whose heavy accent he flaunts. He probably eats lunch in hotel ballrooms. Feh!
-Then, at the 5:29 mark, Jon works himself into a froth over Trump’s blasphemous fork-use and demos how a real New York slice should be eaten! “You fold it, you eat it, one hand!…maybe you use your other hand to take an irresponsible amount of napkins!”
Church!

grimaldis-pizza

Now I haven’t had all of the famous and revered pizzas in NYC, but you know, I’m serious about my food, lol….and I do have some favorites….
And some pizza gripes…
And one bucket list pizza, lol…
after the jump

-I totally agree with Jon’s endorsement of Lombardi’s: just a great simple NYC medium crust pizza. I love the fact that they have very few menu choices. All I need is the pizza, and a great spinach salad with mushrooms.
-I also loved Grimaldi’s in Dumbo, BK, but honestly the hassle of waiting in line endlessly….that’s for tourists. Locals don’t have time for that.
-Never had pizza in Staten Island, I know I’m missing out.
-Arturo’s on Houston, surprising lowkey choice. Also great pasta dishes and a live band sometimes.
-Joe’s on Bleecker is everyone’s favorite stand-up-while-eating pizza stop in the Village. But personally….I prefer Bleecker St. Pizza just a couple blocks west on Bleecker because their sauce is more tangy. Amazing grandma slices.
-I don’t do John’s, again because of the waiting and the touristy-ness.

Other pizza spots I’ve loved:
-Singa’s out in Queens…imperfectly shaped, unique almost indian-nan-style bread. Delish!
-New Park in Howard Beach….you may never find yourself out here, but if you do….this is purist pizza.
-On the fancy side of pizza eating: In Manhattan there’s tons of new fancy pizza places with elaborate imported brick ovens and gourmet toppings. Yes, it’s offensive to pay $20-plus for single-person pie….but the atmosphere, the wine, the sides…it’s for a night out. The only thing that pisses me off is when everything is fancy but the pizza is trash. Then, I’m ready to riot. Places I’ve enjoyed….
Rubirosa in Nolita: Went here for the 2nd year anniversary party of Immaculate Infatuation. Good pizza, but even better non-pizza dishes and pastas. Rice balls! (This is run by Staten Islanders, btw)
Keste on Bleecker: My cousins love this spot.
Co. in Chelsea: Roman-style pizza. Like great thin crust with fancy stuff like fennel and ham on top…sometimes without sauce or cheese. So not a traditionalist’s spot. But yummy.
L’Asso in Nolita: lots of choices here, maybe too many, but very high quality. I really liked a spicy pie that I had there, one that had pear on it, and the San Daniele with prosciutto on it.

Pizza I did not love:
Artichoke Basille’s in Chelsea and soon to be everywhere else in the country: The original take-out only Artichoke’s in the East Ville was yummy, but now they’ve partnered up with nightclub moguls Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss (owners of Marquee, need I say more?). So there’s a bunch of new faux-authentic locations and more on the way. The crab pizza, the artichoke pizza…it felt like everything was just laying on a thick layer of cream sauce. *shudder* Avoid.
Pulino’s: Keith McNally’s casual spot has a great look (vintage lighting that makes everyone look nice), great location (Houston and Bowery), and lively energy….but the pizza is just okay. I’d still go again though. It’s a good dinner with friends standby.

Pizza I’m dying to try:
Di Fara’s: everyone raves about this Brooklyn legend. There’s even a short film documenting their dedicated pizza man Dom DeMarco, who does things the old fashioned way. “He started at age 26, and has hand-made every single every single [Di Fara] pizza himself.”

The Best Thing I Ever Done HQ from Margaret Emily MacKenzie on Vimeo.

Ok, I’ll stand in line for this. This man is a pizza saint.

Related:
The Ethering of Donald Trump: President Obama and SNL’s Seth Meyers Clown Trump While He Watches
Jon Stewart Defends Common And Goes Head-to-Head With Bill O’Reilly
Awesome! The Daily Show and Slim Thug break down the Hip Hop Recession
Where in the world is…Miss Info?: Madrid (and Toledo) Part 2
Eating Out with Miss Info x Immaculate Infatuation: Macao Trading Co.: Blech!