Hold Up, JT! Don’t You Turn Your Back On Me…I’m Talking To You!

Miss Info: Wait a minute….so all this buildup was for, another version of buildup?!
Last night’s revelation was that Justin Timberlake was stopping all that In Time acting nonsense and Southern Hospitality BBQ nonsense and William Rast slacks nonsense and giving us what the good Lord meant for his curly-haired seedling to deliver….MUSIC. And the world rejoiced….and set their cell-phone alerts for a 12:00 EST debut of this JT x Jay-Z x Timbaland benediction.

So what happened at noon?
When you click on Justin Timberlake’s new “countdown” site, there’s a clock counting down for another three days. And a video of Justin talking some balderdash gobbledygook about his journey and being “ready” and some such.

That is not what I’m here for. I want the singing and the jazz hands and the Jay-Z and the Timbo “uhhs” and the possible Beyonce “ooooos”. Not. More. Dramatic. Monologues.
So give!

(Full Disclosure: I will still be waiting with baited breath when this shxt finally drops on Monday. And I’ve heard multiple label insiders who have raved that the whole Justin x Timbo project is crack crills. Obviously.)

Feel my pain…Watch Justin Timberlake’s waiting for godot video…
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Oh Hell No! (part 1…stay tuned for part 2)

Lil’ Debbie, the former member of Kreayshawn‘s “White Girl Mob,” jumps onto the inappropriate post-presidential election name-dropping bandwagon with a song that has nothing to do with its namesake “Michelle Obama” and a video that’s pretty much the anti-thesis to everything the FLOTUS and POTUS have ever repped. Lil’ Debbie and Riff Raff do make sure we all notice the song, by including the First Lady for the hook:

“Presidential Tint, Michelle Obama…frozen FEMAs in the freezer, Jeffrey Dahmer…“

If you’re horrified in the first 30 seconds, stay the course to hear Debbie  kreay-rap about Ryan Seacrest, Tom Brady, and her “coupe the color of Kanye.” Yes. That happened.

Watch Lil’ Debbie x Riff Raff’s “Michelle Obama” video after the jump…
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I got an acute stabbing pain behind my eyes after watching Donald Trump’s “big announcement” the other day….the announcement was a ridiculous farce wherein that clown waved his hands and yelled at us like he keeping beat to some mechanical toy monkey beating a tin drum in his head. Oh, and the “announcement” was that he was baiting President Obama to give up his passport and college transcripts in exchange for a $5million donation to the charity of Obama’s choice. The reason being Trump believes 1) Obama used a fake passport to get into Pakistan in 1981, and 2) Obama was a poor student… who somehow scammed his way through Harvard, and stumbled into being the editor of the Harvard Law Review. We all saw how well Trump’s last demand for Obama’s birth certificate went, and he’s so delusional and pompous, he doesn’t see how offensive his grandstanding is.
But leave it to Stephen Colbert to not only highlight how disgusting Trump is…but also masterfully clown him with his own tools. Watch the video above….

Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I have an offer of my own, right over here. Mr. Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million from Colbert super PAC – you know I’ve got it – to the charity of your choice, anything, save the children, feed the children, put the children on “Child Apprentice,” whatever. One million actual dollars if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth…
Nothing would make me happier than to write this check. And nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth instead of coming out of it.

High five, Colbert.
Trump is being called out by everyone. Everyone is fed up, even Barbara Walters. And he’s super tight. Trump and his team spazzed on The Guardian and Greta Van Susterren…and then even took to forcing David Letterman for a showcase to plead Trump’s case tonight. They basically just circled each other and then Trump promoted his ugly tie collection. Phooey.

Watch another eye-opening clip about Republicans who have disturbing misconceptions about rape…
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While Drake has been tweeting about how many times he listened to Chief Keef’s “Love Sosa”…another member of Keef’s crew is getting attention for a different kind of “hit.”

Lil’ Reese…who, along with Lil’ Durk, is one of the more talented members of Keef’s GBE crew…is seen in this shaky cell phone footage arguing with a female at some kind of house party.
After the argument escalates, you see Lil’ Reese poke the young woman. She smacks his hand away. He shoves her. She rushes him in retaliation….and then Reese proceeds to punch and kick her repeatedly even after the girl is prone on the ground, clearly no longer fighting back.

This is not like the infamous uppercut video, where a crazy woman spits on and attacks a bus driver, before he knocks her out. Both the driver and the woman are facing charges.

This is not like the murder of Jo Jo, a 16-year-old aspiring rapper, whose public beef with Chicago rivals, Chief Keef, Lil Reese and Lil Durk was just as much a gang beef as it was a rap one. Keef and Reese mocked the murder on twitter.

It’s not about poverty, or gang culture, or lead-based paint. This is just a demonstration of an inferior human character…and the sign of someone who needs help and punishment.

Be disgusted…
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(Chris Brown and his girlfriend Karrueche Tran during happier times)

Sucks to be Karrueche tonight….
You’re stuck in a New York hotel room, while the whole world tweets and retweets about your boyfriend Chris Brown reuniting with his ex-girlfriend Rihanna for a not-so-private date night at the Jay-Z concert...just 20minutes away.

But then again, even with all the kissy-face instagrams, and private jets, and shopping trips….this very pretty girl’s fairy-tale romance has probably sucked for a long time. Whether she’s realized it, or not.

While Chris and Rihanna were on the way to the Barclay Center (around 8pm), Karrueche tweeted,”Bye Baby.”

Doubtful…but I guess…vocalizing it is a good first step.

Check out photos of Chris Brown and Rihanna’s date night at Barclay Center…
Photos of them partying last night in NYC’s Meatpacking District…
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(Don’t eat that! It’s all you have left!)

Courtroom transcripts are fascinating documents, man. Sometimes they read like Greek tragedies (see the Usher vs. Tameka wars). And sometimes they read like slapstick Dumb and Dumber comedies. Like everything Bow Wow and his lawyers told a judge during his child support hearing.

Bow Wow was in court on Monday, pleading poverty to reduce the amount of money he has to give his baby moms Joie Chavis for their 1-year-old daughter Shai (the daughter he was most ebullient about in this letter). Child support is always a delicate matter, so there’s no fault in trying to get a fair and affordable deal there…but what’s interesting is the insight into Bow wow’s financial affairs. And the way he omitted a key fact…to get over on the judge, his baby mother, and ultimately, his child.

According to TMZ, Bow Wow claimed:

…he makes $4,000 a month working as an employee at Cash Money Records, and that’s it.  He testified he leases a Jeep and has a grand total of $1,500 in his checking account.

$4,000 a month. $48k a year….and only has $1,500 liquid in the bank. $1,500? Is that possible? Wait…don’t answer that : /

So, how much child support was Bow Wow ordered to pay?
After the jump…
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I don’t know why something that is borne into absurdity would develop into anything more sensical….so I’m not surprised that now, on the heels of the BET Hip Hop Awards brawl between MMG’s Gunplay and members of 50 Cent’s G-Unit crew….Gunplay called up TMZ to chat about the fight.

Couple things that caught my attention:
1) Calling up TMZ. How do you guys feel about that?
2) Gunplay’s spin on being ambushed by G-Unit is that he prevailed despite being outnumbered. Which seems to be backed up by this video.
3) Gunplay also suggests that he tried to fight 50 Cent, but Fif was “hiding” behind security. I thought he was onstage at the time?
4) Gunplay says this “melee” is something that he goes through “on a daily basis.” Yikes! That sounds stressful.
5) TMZ’s headline reads, “Rapper Says He Wants to KILL 50 Cent.” Dude. Really? That is wildly inaccurate and unethical. Maybe a reference to “kicking his ass” was just not juicy enough? I have transcribed the short convo, so you can see exactly what Gunplay said….

UPDATE: It seems that 50 has responded on Twitter…

Did Gunplay really say “he wants to kill 50 Cent”?…
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Oh, it’s all gravy when you’re doing the foxtrot on Dancing with the Stars, or buying bottles for your Basketball Wife…but in a perfect storm of terribleness, when Chad OchoCinco Johnson was arrested for allegedly headbutting his new wife Evelyn Lozada….his life was being documented by not one, but two reality TV shows. There was the Ev and Ocho show for VH1, which has now been pulled. And the HBO x Miami Dolphins documentary series, Hard Knocks, which filmed Ocho being fired from the team. Do the Schadenfreude Shuffle!!

Miami Dolphins Coach Joe Philbin: “It’s just, I don’t know if this is working for the benefit of you, me, the Miami Dolphins….and I think you’re a good person, and I acknowledge that people make mistakes…”

Chad OchoCinco Johnson (blatantly lying): “Coach, I’ve never been in trouble before (I know…)…ever. And I buy into your program…”

Coach Philbin: “It’s not really just last night…it’s where we are as a program…I just don’t see the mesh right now….I think it’s best for both of us that we part ways at this time…I’m not trying to flex my muscles as head coach and make an example of Chad Johnson…and um…you know…is there anything more…um….”

Oh God, how awkward! Anyone who has ever been fired knows how unbearable that tense conversation is. Unless you’ve had the balls to blow up and spazz, lol. Which I never had. The most I’ve been able to do is gather up my honor and dispense some petulant disgust.

Meanwhile…we can all agree that it’s disgusting that OchoCinco may have put his hands or forehead on his wife…but um….just one comment on her “public statement.”
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Amidst all of the big song drops today, there were also some really disturbing rumors running rampant that our friend Maino had gotten shot in the middle of a performance. Then there was the very scary youtube video which seemed to prove the rumor right. In the clip, you see Maino onstage, then at the very end, gunshots go off and Maino falls to the floor.

After a few worried text messages from myself and the rest of the Hot97 family, Maino called me to reassure us that he’s totally fine, not a scratch on him, walking around the mall with his son.
So what the hell happened?

Watch the video that sparked the shooting rumor, and get Maino’s explanation…
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A beaming, smiling Adele took the mic at the Brit Awards to accept her British Album of the Year award, “I’m so so proud to be British…” when suddenly the show’s host scurried up and cut off the most awarded singer of the year. Why? Well, because it was time for the group Blur to start performing. *scratches head*

So much for giving your woman of the year a few extra seconds to finish her sentence. Yeesh. At least other award shows give winners a little wrap-it-up music. Now the host James Corden is mad he had to do the rudest thing since “Imma Let You Finish”-gate.

Gracious Adele responded by giving up the mic. But Tottenham Adele made sure to flip the suits at the Brit Awards the middle finger flag for having such a stick up their arse. Hey M.I.A., take note…this is a worthy bird-moment. (spotted via AK)

check out Adele’s Brit Awards performance, after the jump
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