I’m still waiting for the mindblowing Kreayshawn song that Pharrell told me about, the song that he begrudgingly admitted to me was pretty damn good. A conclusion that shattered his entire perspective on reality and disrupted the universe’s time-space continuum.

This song, “Go Hard (La La La)” doesn’t seem to be it. But at the same time, I confessed to Mikey Fresh and Mr. North today that I don’t think it’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard/watched either. In fact, I think the beat by German electronic producer Boyz Noize is decent and catchy.
As for the video, the colorful pop-art effects by Syndrome (and Kreay, herself…) are packed with blatant Kaws and SoMe rip-offs, Roy Lichtenstein cues, and Mishka eyeball prints….
but Kreay and her band of she-ferrets actually look cute. Dare I say…feminine?

Perhaps I bumped my head. But I don’t hate it…as much as I do this new Owl City x Carly Rae Jepson video that I just watched on Jezebel. Why did I do that to myself?

Watch Kreayshawn’s “Go Hard (La La La)”
And tell me, art reference gets ripped off the most in the video?
after the jump
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You know when something or someone is bad for you…High-fructose corn syrup. Bleached flour. RUSH pre-paid credit cards. Mixed beverages sold out of car trunks at Summer Jam. Women with neck tattoos and Worldstar dance moves. Guys in shiny moncler jackets who pull up next to you at the light and slowly lower their limo tint…

But how often do we ignore our better judgement and indulge? Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants…..

So perhaps the combination of Gucci Mane and V-Nasty (Kreayshawn‘s less mainstreamed doppelganger and famous word-equality warrior) should raise a red flag….but instead, this song “Loaded” is today’s musical 5-Hour-Energy shot. Now, in a few years we’ll figure out that those 5-Hour things cause bone rot. And maybe the same goes for the upcoming Gucci x V-Nasty BAYTL mixtape*. But we live in the now. F&%k school.

New Music: Gucci Mane x V-Nasty feat. Mistah Fab “Loaded” (Prod. by Zaytoven)

This song is better than the other mixtape cuts that have leaked so far. You think?

*but what the hell does that title mean? Beatle? Battle? Bay-tell? Bad acronym?!* (Update: oh. eh.)

Watch Gucci and Mlle. Nasty in the studio…
After the jump
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(Cam’ron and his pal, the human trapper keeper: Warning, that jar of Hellman’s is about to go where no condiment should ever ever go.)

Perhaps you thought Cam’ron could never match the antics in the MissInfo.TV Cam’ron NSFW Sizzle Reel. You remember, Cam’ron and ladyfriends in the parking lot, Cam’ron and ladyfriends scat-playing in Macy’s? The stuff of legends.
Well, you were wrong, my friends.
So. So. Sosososo wrong.

In this video, Cam’ron and his homie Murph find themselves socializing with more uninhibited ladies in a Walgreen’s pharmacy. Wait…what?
The star of the show is a woman who eagerly demonstrates the tensile strength of her buttcheeks.
She grips a mayo jar, a DVD, a Vitamin Water….She bends over. She bounces.
She runs down the store aisle….all the while, clenching the bottle in her buttcheeks.

But what about the customers and the cashier?!? Ohh, the humanity!

I can’t make this up. But I am also not sure if I imagined this. (Did I eat the salmon mousse?)

The best/worst thing you’ll watch this year…
Cam’ron Asks “What Type Of Ass Is That?”
After the jump
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Oh, this based-on-a-boardgame movie looks just as ridiculous as when we first heard about it…alien boats and a rogue Naval officer who falls in love with his captain’s daughter. Alien Boats!?! Come on!
Err….but I’ll probably go see it. I love Taylor Kitsch because of Friday Night Lights and because his last name basically means “tacky doodads.” Also, Eric Northman.

But what about Rihanna’s big silver screen debut?! Well, she is in Battleship, but you might miss her in the trailer…..
Unless you slo-mo the video and take some screengrabs of RiRi’s brief appearances…like we did.
Check out Rihanna after the jump…
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When the homie Joeyie played me Waka’s album last year, I chrisbrowned the window when this came on, lol. It wasn’t “Hard in the Paint,” but it was good slam-dance music. The song is sort of castrated on this clean MTV version, but that fact and the slime-green lighting is still worth sitting through for the dancing LiteBrite Fozzie Bear at the 3:30 mark. (Thank you to Tuma/MTV as always: )

Related:
New Music: Vado “Motivated (Tired of Playin’ Games)”, plus Capone-N-Noreaga, Gucci Mane feat. Waka Flocka & More….
New Music: DJ Khaled feat. Various Artists “Welcome To My Hood (Remix)”
New Mixtape: Waka Flocka Flame Salute Me Or Shoot Me 3
Reports of Shots Fired At Waka Flocka’s Tour Bus

“You don’t know nann…”

If you put all the tourbus antics of the Def Jam “Survival of the Fittest” tour, all the champagne room antics at King of Diamonds, and everything that’s ever happened at Kid Cudi’s apartment….and combined it all together, it still wouldn’t come even close to the realness of one week in the life of Charlie Sheen.

This guy’s living the lives of 5 different people, and 4 of them are insane drug-crazed porn-addicts. The other one is a dad who somehow manages to hold down a weirdly successful tv career. In fact, according to Hollywood Reporter, the studio-execs want to force rehab on Charlie before he ends up dead, but they need an excuse. “Charlie has been partying pretty hard but he’s showed up and done his job…Everyone likes him. he’s professional.”

Professional enough to remember lines, then go home for a 36 hour binge party with hookers, and a visit from a guy who drops off “fist-sized” hunks of coke in a Gucci duffle. (take that, Playaz Circle!) The best/worst part of this latest Sheen scandal is this TMZ interview that one of his houseguests, “pornsta” Kacey Chrysler did.

“When I first saw [Charlie], he was f–kin’ wasted. I was trying to get to that point too…He gave me a kiss and blows [crack smoke] into my mouth…we watched porn for like 2 hours. He has so much porn…He wasn’t doing anything except holding his green pipe and hitting it….If I didn’t leave I woulda ended up in the hospital, I couldn’t keep up…I hope he gets better.”

When the bopper who’s down to try crack on a whim is worried for your health…you know you’re a trenta-sized trainwreck.

UPDATE: Charlie “Wildman” Sheen enters rehab, “Two and a Half Men” on hiatus.
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(Lil’ B performs “I Cook” at the Highline Ballroom, NYC, 1-13-11. Video via BlowHipHopTV)

I’ve been to many many (too many) shows. Most I don’t even remember. But few have been as remarkable as the Lil B concert at the Highline Ballroom on Thursday night. Now before you get all huffy at me and accuse me of forsaking the legend of Illmatic and my Wu-Tang decoder ring….just be clear. I’m not saying that “I’m Miley Cyrus” and rapping over the Garden State soundtrack onstage is on the same level as shows like Hov n Em’s Home + Home, or my favorite live moment, the epic Hot97/Pepsi DJ Battle of 2007. But what I am saying is: without the fireworks of that Yankee Stadium extravaganza, and all the nostalgic celeb cameos of that Hot97/Pepsi jam session….Lil’ B’s concert still amazed me because of the connection between the performer and the audience. It was like a semi-religious gathering of ethnically-diverse superfans, who, at one point, spontaneously chanted rapidly, and in unison: “Thankyoubasedgod. Thankyoubasedgod. Thankyoubasedgod.“
Did you ever see Animal House? Well, it reminded me of Kevin Bacon’s “Thank you, sir, may I have another,“ hazing scene.

From Diplo‘s perch onstage, I’m sure he saw all the fans wearing chef hats and aprons, waving serving spoons, doing B’s “cooking” dance. As for the performance, “Wonton Soup” rang off even for the less pious members of the congregation, while other songs had difficulty translating that hilarious deadpan weirdness that B delivers via youtube. But over and over, Lil’ B’s interaction with his fans saved the show….like when he passed out the mic, and fans professed their love: “Hi Based God, um, you can f–k my sister.” Another man actually kissed Lil’ B’s hand. I guess if you don’t know that there’s humor in this display, it could seem a bit David Koresh-creepy, but DJ Atrak (who is cooking up some music with Lil’ B soon) explained that Lil’ B’s followers actually took real youtube comments like “Thank you, Based God.” and “Lil’ B f–ked my b—h” and turned them into these hilarious memes.

So, is this guy destined to be the Kool Keith of the social network generation? Or will Lil B’s Glass Face/Angels Exodus albums be a turning point? Maybe Universal honcho Sylvia Rhone thinks so after watching last night’s “service” from the balcony. But the buzz doesn’t seem lost on Lil’ B himself, who said onstage:

How many of y’all want everything? I promise you. I want every-thing…
I killed hip hop and saved hip hop…
Tell Jay-Z to get a beat from me…

Personally, I think Sylvia should think about signing B’s fans as well.
Watch them offer up members of their family to Lil’ B….and one fan’s awesome “cooking” dance clip…
after the jump
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The last time I was in Chicago, a twitterfriend introduced themselves at this LEP Bogus Boys show, and during a short convo about music…he tried to explain his level of devotion to Lil’ B. The key phrase was “Every morning, I pray to Based God, and then I pray to regular God.” This actually happened.
But my Chicago friend is not alone. Lil’ B’s cult following goes beyond White sorority girls, Andy Milonakis, Soulja Boy, Too Short, my NMC bromie Meka, and the cool guys of Complex ; ) This week, The Vice Guide to Everything sent host Ryan Duffy to San Francisco to talk to Lil B himself. (thanks to Rory for the clip!)

Best part of the segment is the medley of some of B’s classic name-raps (at the 2:23 minute mark): “I am miley cyrus…paris hilton…bill clinton…ellen degeneres”…and finally “I’m ryan duffy.”
It’s weird how catchy all those hooks are. Lol.

In addition to the Vice TV segment, another priceless source of Based is Lil B’s tumblr…
And the press release announcing Lil B’s new deal with Amalgam Digital had the best bio line in history…
after the jump
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Future vice-presidential candidate, Kat Stacks released a third video, again flaming on her archrivals/former bedfellows Young Money Records, warning that she has a tell-all book on the way. But Kat also complains about the “beetches” who unsuccessfully tried to get her in trouble with child protective services, and others who have created fake twitter profiles in her name. Her new twitter is “@iHateKatStacks,” but whether that’s self-deprecation or just evidence of a schizophrenic break is still up for debate.
However, there is no debating how awesome it is when Kat spontaneously breaks into song in the middle of a sentence (2:00 mark). Also, I’m in awe of the way she holds her head motionless while ranting, as if to preserve that vicious hair-blindfold.

So what about that (not) shocking leak of Kat’s (un-blindfolded) mug shot and parole report??

“yeah, so muthafuckan whut? I wuz carryin a congsealed fireyarm and now I’m ong probation fer it… Real beeches like mee always stay muggfuggin’ strapped. We from the streets. All o’us werint born in the suburgs….beeches like me fight our own muhfuggin’ bottles.”

Bottles.
Kat also answered the urgent questions about her background: she is half Trini, and half Venezualien.

Previously:
I Quit: groupie confessions backlash knocks on Kat Stacks’ door
I Quit, Part 3: Kat Stacks’ delivers her daily mathematics (i.e. Gudda Gudda’s phone number)
I Quit: Breaking down Kat Stacks’ groupie confessional (via Kid Fury)

Mikey: Finally, the video for Juelz and Chris Brown’s “Back To The Crib.”  Gucci Mane “Heavy” and Rihanna feat. Young Jeezy “Hard” (teaser) videos after the jump.

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