Things I Ehh


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I’ve tried repeatedly to watch “American Horror Story”…believing that I would like it because I love film noir as a genre, I love creepy old-timey vamp, and I grew up on deviant pop culture like “Twin Peaks,” and John Waters films. But “AHS” always ends up boring me by trying too hard to shock. The a-plus actresses, as county fair freaks or witches…eh. It’s vintage horror given the “Glee” gloss-over (obviously, from the same show creator). It usually looks really good though, I’ll give it that. And I think casting Lady Gaga this season as a mysterious hotel proprietress makes perfect sense. We’re not off to the greatest start with this trailer though…Stanley Kubrick is raging from the grave.

Lady Gaga: AHS

Watch the full “American Horror Story: Hotel” trailer…and “The Shining” comparison…after the jump

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Treach and Cicely, Couples Therapy VH1

I’m all for therapy… for fighting couples, for happy couples, for individuals, umm, massage therapy, light therapy, equine therapy. Whatever it is…if you can afford it, by all means, therapute the hell out of yourself. But this Couples Therapy show…is like some kind of Wipe Out obstacle course for people who are in a relationship with their own ego but also sleeping someone who is likewise attention-obsessed. And it makes for some addictively cringeworthy television.
This season, Treach Criss and his girlfriend Cicely Evans join the fun house along with the most annoying person on that one season of Jersey Shore that I watched, Deena Cortese and her man, as well as porn star Jenna Jameson and her man. Bring the sorrow.

Seems like some high drama could be in store this season…especially since Treach may be off his rocker lately. Just look at his current demand that Naughty By Nature will only perform without the affable Vin Rock. But will it be fun crazy? Or just exhausting sad crazy? I’m predicting the latter.
And there’s no chance that it will be the surreal, hilarious, charismatic crazy of last season’s breakout star Ghostface Killah

Compare Treach in the new Couples Therapy 5 trailer…
With Ghostface in his Couples Therapy 4 clips…
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fifty shades of grey EW cover

The Fifty Shades of Grey book trilogy…if you didn’t notice every woman on the train reading it, or chattering at the coffee shop about getting tied up and ravished by a mysterious rich dude…is a big deal. They sold 70 million copies in 8 months, making author E.L.James $95 million dollars in 2013, and now, of course, there’s a movie version.
The Today Show debuted the trailer this morning, so check out actress Dakota Johnson (daughter of Miami Vice‘s Don Johnson) as Anastasia Steele, and Jamie Dornan (from Once Upon a Time) as Christian Grey…
After the jump
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nickiminajminajesty

All hail your Minajesty, Nicki Minaj, as she gives her Barbz a sneak peek at her upcoming fragrance set to hit Macy’s and Nordstroms on September 15. The campaign, shot by David LaChapelle (who also did M.A.C VIVA GLAM), shows Nicki embracing the title of queen, sporting a big pink princess dress in an overdramtic pose and in front of a gold throne. But that’s not even the best part!

“Minajesty smells like a passionate love affair. Mysterious and sexy. An unforgettable and hypnotizing scent.

The bottle design for “Minajesty” seals the deal.

Check out the C-3PO-esque bottle after the jump….

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kanye-nicki-bruno-cleveland-show-animation

The new season of Fox’s animated series The Cleveland Show is back on tv for another season with more celebrity cameos from hip hop’s biggest and brightest stars. Why and why?
As in, why is this show still on? And why do Kanye West (repeatedly), Bruno Mars, Will I Am, Nicki Minaj and Questlove agree to appear on it? (take Will I Am out of that question…he’ll appear at the grand closing of a pumpkin patch)

This show has all the right DNA and I really tried to get into it but it hasn’t been actually funny since….hmm….since it was an storyline on The Family Guy. The mighty Simpsons made the best use of all-star features, Family Guy doesn’t need them (except forĀ Eminem‘s) and Cleveland keeps trying but just doesn’t have the sharp writing. Kanye’s two previous appearances were charming, while this new one looks cringeworthy.
Meanwhile, Bob’s Burgers is still my favorite new animated series. I’d like to see Action Bronson and Mac Miller on that one ; )

Watch a clip of Kanye West (as Kenny West), Nicki Minaj, Questlove, Bruno Mars and…of course Will I Am, along with Cleveland Brown from this Sunday’s upcoming episode of The Cleveland Show
After the jump
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kanye-katy

Katy Perry is a big fan of Kanye West and Jay-Z, earlier today she displayed that on BBC Radio 1 live lounge in London, England. During her appearance viewers got to hear the pop star cover The Throne’s hit single, “N***as In Paris.”

Watch the acoustic cover after the jump….

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shyne-diddy

While over in Paris for Fashion Week, Diddy got re-acquainted with an old friend. Shyne Po and Puff had a moment front row at Kenzo’s runway show earlier today. Back in January, Shyne confirmed with MTV News that he had reconciled with Diddy and that the two would meet soon in Paris where he currently lives.

via Diddy

More photos, including Pharrell’s new hair-do after the jump…..

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MIA-BadGirls

By the end of this week, M.I.A. will have been on American Idol (premiering Madonna’s “Give Me All Your Lovin'” video with her and Nicki Minaj), and at the halftime show of the Superbowl. How in the world can you possibly even pretend to be some kind of edgy anti-establishment fight-the-power “bad girl” at this point? But M.I.A. is still hanging onto her hipster metrocard, despite her billion-dollar baby, and upcoming hank-williams-jr astroturf status.

And just in time to confuse the Middle Americans who will be tuning in to watch “Madonner” between bites of cheesy bread on Sunday…M.I.A. drops “Bad Girls,” (via Pitchfork) the lead single for her upcoming 4th album. The song is produced by Danja (Timbaland’s “co”-producer) and sounds pretty much like you’d expect. It’s not horrible. It’s just disappointing.

“Bad Girls” sounds like Gwen Stefani adopting another new ethnicity, or Eve giving it another go with whoever Dr. Dre has locked in his basement, or Kreyshawn doing an Old Navy ad. Zzzz. But with all of the new things that M.I.A. has seen/been bought/been fed in the last few years of her interesting journey…I’d think she’d be able to pull up some of that rich girl rage and act out. (Like with that nutty “Born Free” video) We’ll see what happens with Friday’s “Bad Girl” video debut, also by “Born Free” director Romain Gavras. Will there be black humor and apocalyptic violence? Or just multi-culti kitsch and bad Islamic calligraphy fonts. Oh, wait…that’s already on the single art.

Listen to M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls”….after the jump
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Red Tails is a new movie that takes on the story of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first unit of African-American combat pilots to fight in World War II. The screenplay is a collaboration between John Ridley (who wrote Barbershop), and George Lucas….wait, George Lucas? Yes. As in Star Wars. Somehow that bizarro combination makes me wary, but the cast includes Michael B. Jordan, who I loved as Vince on the tv series Friday Night Lights, as well as Tristan Wilds, who I loved as Michael on The Wire. Fulfilling the unspoken singer/rapper quota is Ne-Yo and Method Man. And then there’s Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad and Malcolm in the Middle (talk about range!).

But you know what would probably make this movie better?
97% less Terrence Howard.

And 100% fewer lines like “How ya like dat, Mr. Hitler?

Anyways, didn’t the 1995 HBO movie about the same unit, Tuskegee Airmen do a solid job of covering this story too?
Wait….Cuba Gooding Jr. was in Tuskegee Airmen AND Red Tails? *rubs eyes*

Compare the old trailer after the jump
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Rihanna Chris Martin Coldplay
(I love Rihanna but her LOUD tour costume designer did her dirty, lol)

I tried to log onto VEVO yesterday and watch that much-hyped Coldplay Unstaged show, streamed from a bullfighting arena in Madrid….but after refreshing about 7 times, I gave up. I know a jillion weekend warriors and college girls were probably doing the same…but aren’t folks as major as Youtube, Coldplay, Amex and VEVO supposed to get it right and tight?

Anyways, I’m enjoying the new Coldplay album, Mylo Xyloto. And the Rihanna x Coldplay collabo “Princess of China” is growing on me too. Then, you already know I’m obsessed with Rihanna’s “We Found Love” video. So I was especially excited to hear Chris Martin and Co.’s rendition of Rihanna’s “We Found Love” from the BBC Radio 1’s Live Lounge this week.

Zzzzzzz.
This version is like the sugar-free, soy-based, gluten-free, vegan version of “We Found Love.” None of the Calvin Harris party, none of the Coldplay wall-of-sound. It’s the Gwyneth Paltrow remix of “We Found Love.” : (

For something waaaay more enjoyable…
Watch Coldplay’s fun, funny, and fuzzy (as in animal suits, lol) “Paradise” video…
And you can watch the entire Coldplay in Madrid concert….
After the jump
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