Not Good For Me


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Ummm. This is not O.K. This is not a “lituation.” This is a disaster.
According to Comedy Central… Jon Stewart is leaving The Daily Show.

More details below…

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(Actors Dane Dehaan, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes, Ryan Gosling, and director Derek Cianfrance at a screening of Place Beyond The Pines)

Hey girl…I hate to break it to you (aka me), but just ’cause we never saw Ryan Gosling and his girlfriend Eva Mendes cavorting around The Ivy or conspicuously shopping in full-view of paparazzi in Soho like some couples…doesn’t mean that they were all split up and unhappy and whatnot.
In fact, according to the tabloids today, these two unfairly genetically-blessed actors have been baking up a baby bun for the past 7 months. US Weekly says a “source” has confirmed that Eva Mendes is due to deliver Ryan’s seed in just two months. Background: The couple hooked up back in 2012, when they filmed A Place Beyond The Pines together…which was a pretty terrible movie (especially given Ryan’s previous brilliant work with the same director, Derek Cianfrance, on the movie Blue Valentine) but the chemistry was there, I guess.

Well, babies are a blessing, so congrats to the lovebirds! Their baby will have incredible bone structure.

But we will always have our “Hey Girl” Ryan Gosling memes….
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SPOILER ALERT (technically, I don’t think I should have to say this because the episode already aired, but just in case…)

I can’t believe it either. While watching Pitbull, who was looking like a terrible Men’s Warehouse sales model on the American Music Awards, I totally missed out one of the biggest shockers in animated TV history. Seth MacFarlane‘s flagship series Family Guy killed off one of it’s most compelling characters, Brian the Family Dog.

WHAT?!
WHY?!

Not only does Brian get hit by a car–a way mundane way for a high IQ, novel-writing, cross-species-dating, tap-dancing dog to go — but Peter Griffin and family even replace him with a new dog, Vinny. Voiced by Tony Sirico. So, basically a dog version of Paulie Walnuts. Maron!

Vinny-the-new-dog-Family-Guy Vinny-Tony-Sirico-Family-Guy

Watch the sad Family Guy montage of key Brian moments as he lays on his final veterinarian office deathbed…and the executive producers explanation for killing off TV’s smartest canine.
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(still one of the grossest greatest moments in Family Guy history.)

I’m one of those contagious barfers…just the sound of someone vomiting makes me cough-heave. Walking through the Lower East Side on a Saturday morning and seeing the sidewalk remnants of some sad girl’s bar-hopping rager….instant bile bubble. So…I’m gonna be honest, I can’t fully watch these videos of Justin Bieber’s recent onstage barf, or Lady Gaga’s new onstage barf. I’m just watching with one eye. With a spearmint tea nearby.

But for the sake of journalism, I’m still documenting this new culture trend for you. It’s called sacrifice!
Of course, the Family Guy clip above where the entire Griffin family chugs Ipecac syrup to see who can last the longest without throwing up is next level upchuck.
But if you want to be up on the latest celebrity trends…
Justin Bieber’s anti-milk campaign,
And Lady Gaga’s simultaneous “End of Glory” singing x hurling might just take the soon-to-be-announced MTV Video Music Vom-trophy…
watch, if you dare, after the jump.
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50 Cent has been hit with some recent back luck. A month after being admitted into the hospital for a stomach virus, 50 was involved in a car accident along the Long Island Expressway in New York City. His SUV was rear-ended by a Mack truck that lost control early Monday morning. Both 50 and the driver of the truck had to be carried away on a stretcher and have been admitted to a local Queens hospital. No serious injuries have been reported.

UPDATE: A G-Unit rep has confirmed to XXL that 50 and the driver have been released, both are fine and doing well.

More photos from the accident scene, after the jump…..

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It’s a sad day in music. Legendary disco queen Donna Summer passed away this morning at the age of 63 after a long battle with cancer. The iconic singer exploded onto the scene during the ’70s with such hits as “I Will Survive,” “Last Dance,” “Hot Stuff,” “She Works Hard For The Money,” and “Bad Girls.” In later years her classics would be sampled by Nas, Royce Da 5’9″, Tech N9ne, and most famously Beyoncé on her 2003 hit “Naughty Girl.”

The 5-time Grammy Award winner was in Florida at the time of her tragic death. This comes a day after the legendary “Godfather Of Go-Go” Chuck Brown died at the age of 75 after being hospitalized with pneumonia. Among Chuck’s ties to recent rap history, his hit “Bustin’ Loose” was sampled by Nelly for is 2002 chart-topper “Hot In Herre.”

via TMZ

Watch some of Donna’s popular videos after the jump…..

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Tonight I watched this movie Anonymous with the kooky premise that William Shakespeare was just an illiterate fraud who was paid to pretend that he wrote all those masterpieces by a nobleman. You know… “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind…” and all that good s**t.

Then right before I go to bed….what twitter-trending madness is this?
Oh, it’s creepy crooner Brian McKnight. With his gifted singing voice and San Andreas fault frown lines. Assaulting me with a grin while he pretends that this song about teaching women how their own genitalia works…ISN’T THE BIGGEST TURN OFF SINCE SHEER MANTIES AND CROCS.

I care about you people, so I am warning you, this is all bad. But you will still continue after the jump…
And you will still click to listen to the song…
So let us share this time together. (Kids…pls go play outside)
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While details are still coming in regarding the tragic, shocking and unfortunate death of the great Whitney Houston, many celebrities have taken to Twitter to express shock and their condolences to one of the greatest voices of our time.

RIP Whitney Houston.

Reactions from all corners of the entertainment industry after the jump…..

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Oh God, why? I’m not against all rehashing of the past to lure both grownup dollars and youngun dollars…but can the vintage Larry, Curly, Moe slapstick of the original Three Stooges franchise translate to 2012? Ehh…Watch the first trailer for the Farrelly Brothers’ The Three Stooges film and judge for yourself. (via ComingSoon)

Sean Hayes (Will and Grace), Chris Diamantopoulos (um…24?) and Will Sasso (MAD TV) definitely look the part, but there’s a veneer of cheese that makes this trailer look like it should just be left as a MAD TV skit, or a Funny or Die webisode. I think it makes sense that the Farrelly Brothers are directing, since they’ve carried the torch for slapstick comedy. And I loved The Farrelly’s Something About Mary, and Me Myself and Irene…but they’ve since then it’s been bombs like Shallow Hal, The Ringer and that awful awful Hall Pass. I’m sure this new Stooge will be chock full of celebrity cameos when it drops in April 2012, in fact the last part of the trailer with Jersey Shore’s J-Woww, Snooki and Sammi is the only funny bit, but did this need to be a full movie? Can’t the universe (aka Hollywood) just focus all it’s Scientology prayers on Zoolander 2?

Oh, speaking of Snooki and Company….the new trailer for MTV’s Jersey Shore Season 5 just dropped as well. It is surprisingly trauma free. That’s odd. Shouldn’t there be an unplanned pregnancy, a drug overdose, and a hilarious Situation vs. His Dad fistfight?

Watch the Jersey Shore Season 5 trailer…
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Grand Theft Auto V is going back to Cali….er, “San Andreas”. I can’t believe it’s been over 3 years since Rockstar Games blanketed us with Grand Theft Auto IV promotion….and if you remember, since that game was set in an almost-real New York City (aka Liberty City), we got everything from customized Mr. Cee radio stations, to exclusive Busta Rhymes x Green Lantern tracks, to inter-borough multi-ethnic crime sprees. Good times.

This morning, Rockstar dropped the trailer for GTA V, confirming that the endless driving missions and salty dialogue is going back to Los Angeles, California (aka Los Santos, San Andreas). In the brief clip, you see the LA smog, the skid-row homeless, some warm fuzzy crop-dusting over migrant workers, the Venice boardwalk, and, of course, some celeb-hiking up in Runyon Canyon. (But what’s with the oil rig? Is there black gold hidden in the Hollywood Hills? UPDATE: Holy crap! Thanks Jazzbeezy.) Oh and if you don’t already know from in GTA, the Hollywood sign says Vinewood, which sounds decidedly less glamorous)

I definitely enjoyed the insanely detailed gameplay in GTA IV, but something about driving and mission-based videogames gets tedious to me. I can’t wait to see all the extra music, video, and web content that is sure to come with this new edition though. That’s definitely where Rockstar shines.

Do you think they’ll have Pac Div, Lil B’ radio stations? I predict lots of paparazzi chase scenes, and a full TMZ-branded news ticker.

A short recap of the Grand Theft Auto series..
After the jump
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