Life Beyond Rap


Gathering of the Juggalos 2014

Some of you are busy arguing about whether Jay and Beyonce are on the rocks. Some of you are up in arms about whether Nicki Minaj’s thong is going to end up getting your daughter pregnant. Some of you are mad at Childish Gambino for acting like a rapper by trash talking the competition during his rap concert. I’m mad that folks are so busy being mad at Stephen A. Smith for saying some really dumb shxt about women “provoking” domestic violence…that they’re distracted from the larger issue, that the NFL punished Ray Rice less for knocking out his (then) fiancee than if he had been caught smoking weed or selling his autograph before going pro.

But here’s something to stop all our yammering for a hot second.
A horrible terrible twerk team moment from this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos bizarro scary people convention in Thornville, Ohio.
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1995 MTV Movie Awards
(TLC’s T-Boz, Left-Eye, and Chilli in 1995)

I love long-buried stories of totally random love connections like this. While this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, Chili from TLC was reminiscing on the 90′s with OK! Magazine, on the horrors of thin eyebrows, the magic of TV-VCR combos, the days of touring with MC Hammer
Then she dropped a celeb-drama bomb!

OK! Mag: Is there a movie from the 90s you can still recite the lines from?
Chilli: I’m a movie buff but I have to think about movies from the 90s. Clueless—I loved Amber’s, “Whatever!” It’s funny because I saw that movie with Prince. He took me to see that movie. I’ve never told this story! We were in Indianapolis and the theater was closed but of course they opened back up from him so it was just he and I watching Clueless.

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mas finding your roots.jpg

PBS’ Finding Your Roots is back for its second season on September 23, and will be digging up the family roots of a whole host of celebrities including Derek Jeter, Anderson Cooper and Ben Affleck. The most notable guest, however, is Nas, who was the first hip-hop artist to be invited onto the series by host, Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

Read more below…

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fifty shades of grey EW cover

The Fifty Shades of Grey book trilogy…if you didn’t notice every woman on the train reading it, or chattering at the coffee shop about getting tied up and ravished by a mysterious rich dude…is a big deal. They sold 70 million copies in 8 months, making author E.L.James $95 million dollars in 2013, and now, of course, there’s a movie version.
The Today Show debuted the trailer this morning, so check out actress Dakota Johnson (daughter of Miami Vice‘s Don Johnson) as Anastasia Steele, and Jamie Dornan (from Once Upon a Time) as Christian Grey…
After the jump
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Manuel Noriega
(Real-life Manny vs. Call of Duty Manny)

I must repeat this Theophilus London album title at least 6-7 times a week, but it always fits….Timez Are Weird These Days.
Like today, as the New York Times reports that Noriega is suing Activision over the videogame Call of Duty: Black Ops II.
Wait…Noriega?

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(The old Thor, as played by Chris Hemsworth in Thor: The Dark World)

(The old Thor, as played by Chris Hemsworth in Thor: The Dark World)

Marvel Comics has announced that future stories from the Thor series, will feature Thor as a female character. Not the Thor you normally think of, like actor Chris Hemsworth, above, all brolic Nordic blondness…he’s not going to suddenly be a post-operative transgender female superhero. (That would have actually been incredible, and very progressive, actually.) “This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before,” reads the Marvel press release.

Instead, the traditional male Thor, who was established in 1962, has been found “unworthy” of the “mighty Uru hammer”…so now a woman is chosen to take his place. So she’s the Goddess of Lightning now. Just a transition of power. But still significant in the sense that Thor is only Marvel’s 8th female hero. Why this meant that the news needed to be broken on The View, I have no friggin’ idea. Come on! Future superwomen don’t watch a bunch of catty hags on daytime tv. That’s some dumb movie marketing exec’s idea, clearly.

Anyways, check out what your new Thor will look like…
After the jump

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justin-bieber-stache-600x450

Justin Bieber has pleaded no contest to egging a neighbor’s house and must pay the man $80,900 in fines. Also, he must complete five days of community service and attend an anger management program. In addition, court orders forbid the Biebs from going anywhere near his family for two years, the same people he was heard taunting in the now infamous “egging” clip. When he arrived in court on Wednesday, he faced one count of misdemeanor vandalism said a statement by the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office.

He was videotaped back in January being a nuisance to his Calabasas neighborhood and was accused of all kinds of criminal mishief from teh family at the time. They also told press Justin was guilty of throwing loud parties and driving his sports cars recklessly around the neighborhood.

via Idolator

Related:
Justin Bieber’s House Is Being Searched By the Police (Guess Who Got Arrested)

Eva-Mendes-Ryan-Gosling
(Actors Dane Dehaan, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes, Ryan Gosling, and director Derek Cianfrance at a screening of Place Beyond The Pines)

Hey girl…I hate to break it to you (aka me), but just ’cause we never saw Ryan Gosling and his girlfriend Eva Mendes cavorting around The Ivy or conspicuously shopping in full-view of paparazzi in Soho like some couples…doesn’t mean that they were all split up and unhappy and whatnot.
In fact, according to the tabloids today, these two unfairly genetically-blessed actors have been baking up a baby bun for the past 7 months. US Weekly says a “source” has confirmed that Eva Mendes is due to deliver Ryan’s seed in just two months. Background: The couple hooked up back in 2012, when they filmed A Place Beyond The Pines together…which was a pretty terrible movie (especially given Ryan’s previous brilliant work with the same director, Derek Cianfrance, on the movie Blue Valentine) but the chemistry was there, I guess.

Well, babies are a blessing, so congrats to the lovebirds! Their baby will have incredible bone structure.

But we will always have our “Hey Girl” Ryan Gosling memes….
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Hunger Games Mockingjay Trailer 2
(Mockingjay‘s Peeta Mallark, President Snow, and Joanna Mason)

As a huge fan of the Hunger Games book trilogy, and a hesitant fan of the film versions (hated Hunger Games Part 1, loved Hunger Games: Catching Fire)…I’m open-minded about the conclusion, which will be split into two separate films to part you from as much of your hard-earned cash money as possible. This second official trailer for Hunger Games: Mockingjay is still as measly on insight as Trailer #1, but maybe that’s a good thing. I remember avoiding the onslaught of trailers for movies (especially the Marvel types) because at a certain point, you start feeling like you’ve seen the whole highlight reel before ever getting into the theater.

Sidebar #1: Katniss is reportedly on its’ way to being one of the most popular baby names in 2014. Along with Khaleesi. This is not okay.

Sidebar #2: If you also enjoyed the Hunger Games books, or the Divergent series (Everything after book 1, went downhill)…I strongly strongly recommend this book called Red Rising, by Pierce Brown. We’re talking post-apocalypse, dystopian, crazy society caste system, high-tech body modification, kids playing war games…it’s like Hunger Games meets Gattaca meets Gladiator. Thank me later ; )

Watch the Hunger Games: Mockingjay Trailer #2….
After the jump
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Jessie Ware

There are so many cool indie female singers these days…if only I had sad-girl idols like Sia, Florence Welch, Yukimi (Little Dragon), Lykke Li,  Lana Del Rey and FKA Twigs to mope around with during my angsty hormonal Are-You-There-God-It’s-Me-Margaret teen years….but I was stuck raging against the man with NWA and Kool G. Rap. Kids these days have everything handed to them, lol.

But while not as depressing as a Lana or as outer-spacey as Flo, Jessie Ware‘s pop still has a little dark to balance the sweet, and after 2 years off the grid, her new song “Tough Love” is one of my favorite of the summer of 2014. Her past hits like “Running” and “Imagine It Was Us” were too British blue-eyed house music for me, but it’s very promising that this time around, Jessie is working with producers like Benzel***.

Check out one of my new favorite songs… Jessie Ware’s “Tough Love” after the jump

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