(Don’t eat that! It’s all you have left!)

Courtroom transcripts are fascinating documents, man. Sometimes they read like Greek tragedies (see the Usher vs. Tameka wars). And sometimes they read like slapstick Dumb and Dumber comedies. Like everything Bow Wow and his lawyers told a judge during his child support hearing.

Bow Wow was in court on Monday, pleading poverty to reduce the amount of money he has to give his baby moms Joie Chavis for their 1-year-old daughter Shai (the daughter he was most ebullient about in this letter). Child support is always a delicate matter, so there’s no fault in trying to get a fair and affordable deal there…but what’s interesting is the insight into Bow wow’s financial affairs. And the way he omitted a key fact…to get over on the judge, his baby mother, and ultimately, his child.

According to TMZ, Bow Wow claimed:

…he makes $4,000 a month working as an employee at Cash Money Records, and that’s it.  He testified he leases a Jeep and has a grand total of $1,500 in his checking account.

$4,000 a month. $48k a year….and only has $1,500 liquid in the bank. $1,500? Is that possible? Wait…don’t answer that : /

So, how much child support was Bow Wow ordered to pay?
After the jump…

(Bow Wow and his baby moms Joie Chavis in happier times)

The judge ultimately decided that Bow Wow needs to pony up $3000 a month for his daughter’s care. Twice as much as he has in the bank. Because….Bow Wow left out a key fact. He didn’t tell the judge that he just got a gig as one of four hosts on BET’s 106 and Park….which, ostensibly will pay him. At least as much as his gig as a Cash Money employee does.

Next time, try delaying that new gig announcement so it doesn’t happen on the same damn day as your child support hearing.


Bow Wow Reveals He’s A Father & Previews New Documentary ‘Who Is Shad Moss’
Celebrity Overshare: Teyana, LiLo, Bow Wow, also Stephon Marbury cries on webcam to pay the bills?
Low Point 09: Bow Wow’s amazing hand gestures
Aw You So Tough: Bow Wow kittyboxing with 2 video girls
Exclusive: The Truth Behind Bow Wow’s BET Brouhaha
HA: BowWow bites back….when interviews go wrong