(Jay-Z as a dad. Via Egotripland’s hilarious tracklist post)

Beyoncé and Jay-Z released an official statement about the birth of their first child via Bey’s website. It’s not the tear-jerker that Dad’s “Glory” is, but the proud parents did share some details about their special delivery:

Hello Hello Baby Blue!

We are happy to announce the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, born on Saturday, January 7, 2012.
Her birth was emotional and extremely peaceful, we are in heaven.
She was delivered naturally at a healthy 7 lbs and it was the best experience of both of our lives.
We are thankful to everyone for all your prayers, well wishes, love and support.

- Beyoncé & JAY Z

Ok, what did we learn here? Well, the Carters clarified exactly how Baby Blue traveled from womb to world.
Through the whoohah. Yup….
Maybe now is a good time to recap all the facts and rumors surrounding hip hop’s bundle of joy…

The Top 10 Things We Know (or Just Think We Know) About Baby Blue Ivy Carter…
After the jump

The Top 10 Things We Know (or Just Think We Know) About Baby Blue Ivy Carter:

1. Beyoncé did not have a scheduled Caesarean section, despite tabloid reports.
In the birth announcement, the words “delivered naturally” tell us that her baby came out the ouchy way. Also, “naturally” hints that no epidural was involved either. #QuadrupleOuchy

2. Blue Ivy was born a healthy 7 lbs at Lenox Hill hospital, in the hospital’s “Executive Suite.”
(Weird name for a place where babies are born, lol. It’s not a skybox at MSG.)

3. Jay-Z was so moved by the birth of his daughter, he recorded a new song.
“Glory” featuring Blue Ivy Carter
, crying…and Pharrell Williams, not crying.

4. Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s family allegedly ordering in wine and food for the waiting room.
[My guess? Delivery was either from Philippe Chow, Spotted Pig, Bey's new favorite Buttermilk Channel, or the couple's standby La Esquina?]

5. Babies like Blue demand lots of special planning and security.
Among the unconfirmed rumors: Attending nurses had to turn in their cell phones (100% likely). Hallway cameras were blacked out (also very likely). Windows were darked (maybe). Bulletproof glass was installed (gtfoh!). And Beyonce’s security detail held a big strategy summit (probably happens every morning, big whoop).

6. Lenox Hill denies rumors that the Carters paid 1.3 million dollars to lock out an entire floor?
Lenox Hill insists that the couple “was charged standard rates” for their room. As for non-celeb parents who are fuming to the press, the hospital says: “The family does have its own security detail on site. However, the hospital has been and continues to be in control of managing all security at the facility. We have made every effort to ensure minimal disruption to other families…” (via TMZ)

7. Some parents are still unhappy with Lenox Hill.
TMZ reports that some nursing moms plan to sue. And one Brooklyn father says he was repeatedly stopped by bodyguards while visiting his newborn twins at Lenox Hill Hospital’s Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit. Neil Coulon also claims parents were held in the unit while Beyonce’s party moved around the hospital. (via NY Daily News and NY Post) [Damn, that's not acceptable. The hospital should never allow patients to be intercepted by private security.]
Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU— just because they wanted to use the hallway,” said Coulon, a contractor from Bedford-Stuyvesant. “This is the NICU. Nobody cares if you’re a celebrity. Nobody is star-gazing. They just want to see their children.

8. Some of Bey and Jay’s celeb friends took to twitter.
But others, like Michelle Williams, lashed out against stans who demanded public displays of affection: Let’s get ONE thing straight….I do NOT have to say congrats to someone when they’re NOT on twitter…ESPECIALLY when I talk or email them all the time… [Damn right, Michelle.]

9. People have way too much time on their hands.
Lots of Baby Carter name theories, including some horrifying ones.

10. Baby Blue Carter has already inspired some awesome internet responses:
The New York Observer made a list of possible nicknames for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s newborn….My favorite was: “Our Non-Kanye Baby”
And once again, Egotripland killed it with a tracklist of Jay-Z’s post-fatherhood album, Reasonable Dad:
Excuse Me, Miss (Is There a Changing Station in the Bathroom?)
Can I Sleep
22 Terrible Twos

HAHAHAA!!

Update: And then 50 Cent added his reaction. Why so mean?

Related:
Jay-Z Samples His New Baby’s Cries on “Glory” Feat. Blue Ivy Carter! (Updated with Lyrics)
Beyoncé and Jay-Z Welcome a Baby Girl Into the World: Blue Ivy Carter